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How Do You View Your Fellowman?

“I BECAME so down on people and life in general that drinking and drugs were the only things I looked forward to,” said a young woman who grew up in Los Angeles. The way in which she viewed others had definitely influenced her way of life. While you may never have come to the point of being so adversely affected by other people, you doubtless appreciate that a very negative attitude toward others can rob one of joy.

To be happy, we need to feel that we are wanted, appreciated and loved by others. We need friends who deeply care about us, for they can do much to enrich our lives. However, if we have been bitterly disappointed by acquaintances who proved themselves to be disloyal and selfish, we may feel afraid to reach out in making friends. It’s natural not to want to be hurt again. Yet this provides no real solution. To protect himself from emotional hurt, the individual may draw himself into his shell and, in doing so, become isolated and lonely. Then he may try to escape from the harsh realities of life by means of alcohol or drugs.

This illustrates the importance of not letting bad experiences cause one to give up making any further efforts to find genuine friends. The fact that there are many selfish and unkind people does not mean that everyone is that way.

Of course, the likelihood of having unpleasant experiences can increase if a person tries to choose friends from a very small circle. He may confine his choice to people of a certain age group, social standing or national, racial or tribal background. Because of certain prejudices, he may refuse to extend the hand of friendship beyond this. He may view with distrust and suspicion persons outside the group that he might contemplate as deserving of his friendship. Then, when he has unpleasant experiences with those whom he thought would be good friends, he may come to look upon the “outsiders” with even greater distrust and suspicion.

Clearly, a wholesome view of our fellowmen is far better. And the Bible is most helpful in showing us what our attitude toward others should be.

From the Scriptures we learn that our Creator is not partial. We read: “God is not partial, but in every nation the man that fears him and works righteousness is acceptable to him.”​—Acts 10:34, 35.

Accordingly, we would expect to find trustworthy and loyal friends among those who are fearers of God and workers of righteousness in all tribes, nations and races. And this is exactly so. The fact that people may differ in disposition, customs and habits should, therefore, not cause one to shy away from them. At times contrasts in personality can strike a complementary balance, bringing out the better qualities of both. Thinking may be stimulated, new horizons may be opened up, and a greater awareness of other people’s needs may result.

When a person is guided in his choice of companions by God’s impartial view of people, he will not try to make friends on the basis of what people have. Rather, he will look at what they are as persons. Are they kind, considerate, understanding and sympathetic? Do they build others up by word and action? Qualities of this kind are a far better basis for friendship than what a person might have in the way of possessions or influence.

The Christian disciple James pointed out that assessing the worth of a person by outward appearances is actually wicked. This was a trap that certain Christians had fallen into and, therefore, James told them: “If a man with gold rings on his fingers and in splendid clothing enters into a gathering of you, but a poor man in filthy clothing also enters, yet you look with favor upon the one wearing the splendid clothing and say: ‘You take this seat here in a fine place,’ and you say to the poor one: ‘You keep standing,’ or: ‘Take that seat there under my footstool,’ you have class distinctions among yourselves and you have become judges rendering wicked decisions.”​—Jas. 2:2-4.

To favor others merely on the basis of prominence, superior educational background or financial standing would be out of harmony with this excellent counsel. Besides, could a relationship stemming from such factors really endure the test of time? What if the individual came into disgrace or lost his riches? What if he also were just interested in what he could get out of a particular friendship? A Bible proverb states frankly: “Even to his fellowman one who is of little means is an object of hatred, but many are the friends of the rich person.” (Prov. 14:20) Yes, friendships based on material considerations can quickly dissolve.

Another factor that should not be overlooked is that a harsh, unloving attitude is often common among many rich and influential persons. Surely they do not deserve special attention merely on the basis of what they have. On the other hand, if such persons show themselves to be kind and loving as fearers of God, they should be treated considerately like any other godly man or woman.

The person who looks at fellow humans from the standpoint of what he can do for them, instead of what he can get from them, will be far less likely to experience disappointment. A basic reason for this is that “there is more happiness in giving than there is in receiving.”​—Acts 20:35.

Hence, the individual who is actively concerned about others, regardless of what they may or may not be able to do for him, does not become bitter. He also has satisfaction in knowing that his real reward will come, not from man, but from God. Jesus Christ gave this assurance: “When you spread a feast, invite poor people, crippled, lame, blind; and you will be happy, because they have nothing with which to repay you. For you will be repaid in the resurrection of the righteous ones.”​—Luke 14:13, 14.

In time, the embittered woman who grew up in Los Angeles came to appreciate that following the Bible’s guidelines can change one’s view of fellow humans for the better. Now she is no longer unduly upset with other people but is doing what she can to help them to come into an approved relationship with Jehovah God. This woman rejoices at having found genuine friends among those who are trying to live in harmony with God’s Word.

Has this been your experience? If not, why not check into what the Bible says and see for yourself whether your life can become richer and more meaningful?