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Children​—A Blessing or a Heartache?

“BY THE time we got home I was numb,” recalled one father who had just struck a boy with his van. The youngster had darted without warning into the street and was run down. The screech of the brakes, the sickening thud and the siren of the ambulance were all whirling in the man’s head as he finally reached home with his children.

“The kids could see that I was in a terrible state,” said the father. He described how the children then made him lie down on the living-room floor and gave him a back rub. “You did the best you could, Dad. You did the best you could,” said the sympathetic youngsters. The loving care that flowed from those youthful hands as they rubbed his back not only removed the tension but helped the father to escape much of the emotional turmoil that usually follows such a tragedy.

How grateful this father was for his children! Would you not also cherish such youngsters? Yes, children can be delightful.

But what a different scene in another home. The father also was lying on the floor with the son and the daughter hovering over him. But this father was dead​—allegedly murdered by a killer whom police said had been hired by the father’s own son and daughter! Now the eager hands of the two youngsters were plundering their dead father of $300 (U.S.) and his credit cards, which they quickly used. “He wouldn’t let us do anything we wanted to do, like smoke pot,” said the youngsters in justification.

Very few children actually bring about the death of their parents, but millions rebel in other ways. An increasing number of parents are deeply concerned about the things that their children say and do. All too often, lovable infants grow up to become youths who lash out at both parents and society. “Why do they act that way?” is a question that persists in the minds of countless parents.

There are answers, but they are complex. Children of the same parents will often act very differently. Some, given the best of parental care, will still become delinquent. The opposite is also true. “Because I was born out of wedlock, my mother gave me to her sister, who showed me no love, beat me frequently and considered me merely a ‘tool’ for the housework,” sighed one man. “I became a compulsive gambler by age 14, and my uncle taunted, ‘You’re never going to be worth anything!”’ Yet this man is now successfully raising 10 children.

This man’s story, as we shall see later, reveals a factor that can make a dramatic difference in how a person acts when he grows up.

IF YOU ARE A PARENT​—having insight into the possible reasons why children act certain ways can mean the difference between success and failure as a parent. Such knowledge can help you to be more effective in your efforts to train your offspring.

IF YOU ARE A CHILD​—there are many powerful forces that can cause you to act in certain ways. Knowing what they are and how to deal with them successfully will add to your own happiness.

So what are some of the reasons why children act as they do?