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Meaning Well Is Not Enough!

THE doctors really meant well. After all, their patient was the most notable citizen of their newly born country. Conscientiously, the physicians followed the medical procedure of the time​—bloodletting. But instead of effecting a cure, they actually hastened the death of their distinguished American patient, George Washington.

Doctors in those days were as prone to resort to bloodletting as many today are to ordering a blood transfusion, not a few of which actually result in harm to patients. How this all underscores the truthfulness of the saying: ‘Meaning well is not enough’!

But suppose we turn from secular to sacred history. In his Gospel account the apostle Matthew recorded an incident that can be said to make the same point.

Jesus Christ had asked his apostles whom they held him to be. Peter came out boldly with the statement: “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus commended Peter for this statement. But when Christ told his disciples that he would suffer many things and be put to death in Jerusalem, this was so unexpected that Peter took Jesus aside and, rebuking him, said: “Be kind to yourself, Lord; you will not have this destiny at all.” Jesus answered him with the words: “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me, because you think, not God’s thoughts, but those of men.” (Matthew 16:13-23) Obviously, Peter was lacking in knowledge, in understanding. He meant well, but that was not enough.

Understanding and Balance Essential

It is not enough to be well meaning. We must also have knowledge, enlightenment, understanding. Accordingly, the apostle Paul told his beloved fellow Christians at Philippi: “This is what I continue praying, that your love may abound yet more and more with accurate knowledge and full discernment; that you may make sure of the more important things, so that you may be flawless and not be stumbling others.”​—Philippians 1:9-11.

Yes, if we would really do good to others, and especially to those whom we love, not only must we be well meaning but also we need to balance sentiment with wisdom and good judgment. This is especially important for fathers and mothers.

Parents often are prone to let sentiment and kindness alone govern the way they treat their children, without giving enough thought to how this will affect these young ones. Sentiment causes many parents to pamper their children, to be permissive, actually spoiling them. Parents may allow their offspring to have their own way or may grant them far more freedom than is wise. True, such parents may think that this will make their youngsters happy. But all too often, this results in their children becoming frustrated, while also leading them into trouble as they get older and become more self-willed.

Yet, if parents really want to show their children love, they will wisely balance that love with firmness, with discipline. Since “foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy,” there are times when showing love means disciplining him. As God’s Word says: “The one holding back his rod is hating his son, but the one loving him is he that does look for him with discipline.” (Proverbs 22:15; 13:24) And be assured that this principle applies to sons and daughters alike.

In fact, is this not the way God deals with his imperfect earthly children? “Whom Jehovah loves he disciplines; in fact, he scourges every one whom he receives as a son.” (Hebrews 12:5, 6) Jehovah gives us discipline because he knows we need it, and it is for our greatest welfare. Of course, discipline is not enjoyable in itself. “True, no discipline seems for the present to be joyous, but grievous; yet afterward to those who have been trained by it it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.”​—Hebrews 12:11.

That our being well meaning is not enough is a principle that also applies to the relationship of husbands and wives. A nutritionist once observed that the man who marries a good cook is in mortal danger. Why? Because a host of physical ills can be caused by eating too much, or by consuming food that is too rich. So encouraging a husband who already has a good appetite to eat even more might be well meaning. But is it wise?

In the case of husbands, their being mistakenly well meaning may take a different turn. Some men are so conscientious at their place of work that they have little time and energy left for their families. Or a Christian husband may be so eager to help others in the congregation that he neglects his own family, not giving them as much attention as he bestows on others in need. Being well meaning is not enough. A husband must balance his obligations toward others with those involving his family.

What do these examples underscore? The need for balance. Our Creator, Jehovah God, is balanced. At all times his actions harmonize perfectly with his four cardinal qualities of wisdom, justice, power and love. For instance, this can be seen by the description God gave of himself when his servant Moses asked to see His glory. After having been told that no one could see Him and yet live, Moses heard a voice describing God as follows: “Jehovah, Jehovah, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abundant in loving-kindness and truth, preserving loving-kindness for thousands, pardoning error and transgression and sin.” But did Jehovah let matters go at that? No, lest some should presume on Jehovah’s mercy and loving-kindness. Fittingly, Moses heard these balancing words: “But by no means will he [Jehovah] give exemption from punishment.”​—Exodus 34:6, 7.

The same principle applies to all our activities as Christians. For us to do the most good, we must not only be well meaning, expressing love and kindness unselfishly, but also let such qualities be guided by wisdom and justice. This is essential, for merely being well meaning is not enough.