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Young People Ask . . .

When Will My Parents Let Me Wear Makeup?

Awake!: “How old should a girl be before she’s allowed to wear makeup?

Juliea: I’d say 13 years old.

Awake!: Why?

Julie: I don’t know.

Awake!: Twelve is too young?

Julie: Yeah.

Awake!: But 13 is old enough?

Julie: Yeah.

Sallie: I think that if a girl knows how to apply it right and not make it look as if she’s in a rock band or something, she should be allowed to wear it.

John: I think they should wear it only if they don’t look good without it.

Gloria: Yes, makeup enhances your natural features.

Larry: But why should anybody want to ‘enhance her features’ at 13? I mean, they don’t have to yet! I think girls should be about 18 before they start wearing makeup.

IN THE United States, teenagers spend over five thousand million dollars a year on beauty aids and cosmetics. Quite understandably, then, you may feel you also have a right to wear lipstick, blush, or eyeshadow if you so desire. However, your parents may see things quite differently.

“I asked my mother if I could wear it when I was 13,” recalls 17-​year-​old Nina. “She said, ‘Nina, you don’t need it now.’” Young Shelly got a similar reaction from her parents. “I asked for permission when I was about 13, and they told me I couldn’t wear it until I was 15. I said, ‘Why not?’”

Makeup​—Why It’s Important to Girls

As the opening dialogue illustrates, there is a wide range of opinions on this subject even among teenagers. Little wonder, then, that you and your parents may have trouble seeing eye to eye! Still, getting a blanket no from your parents may seem unreasonably strict. “You look at the girls in school,” recalls a young woman named Monica, “and they’re all wearing it.” You may also wonder how it can be OK for your mom, but not OK for you! Furthermore, you are getting older, and how you look is more important to you than ever.

Puberty has triggered changes in your height, weight, and shape. As the book The Secret of a Good Life With Your Teenager observes, “these transformations leave [youths] worrying about their attractiveness more than ever before . . . They are also concerned to have their sexual identity affirmed. They want to be found womanly or manly.” Or as one writer puts it, you want to “start shaping a style that will be yours . . . [that] expresses the you you like best and are most comfortable with.”​—Changing Bodies, Changing Lives, by Ruth Bell.

For many girls, makeup is one way of establishing that individual style and feeling more womanly or attractive. “When I have makeup on, I feel more confident,” explained one teenage girl. Nina, quoted earlier, adds: “There are a lot of pretty girls, and wearing makeup makes me feel better about myself.”

Wearing makeup is also a sort of rite of passage to adulthood. As one teenager put it: “You don’t want to be thought of as a kid anymore.” Some hope that a more grown-​up appearance will gain them more respect​—or even attract older boys. For others, wearing makeup is simply a way to fit in with one’s peers. Says Diane: “The older you look, the cooler the other kids think you are.”

But many youths want to wear makeup for purely practical reasons: to even out uneven skin tones, to cover a bad complexion or a scar, to highlight attractive facial features, or to downplay not-​so-​attractive features. Even at that, a request for permission to wear makeup may well ignite a family controversy. Why do parents often react in such a negative manner?

Why They May Say No

It is true that parents at times have a hard time dealing with the fact that their children are growing up. Some may thus tend to hold on a bit too tight. Nevertheless, most parents simply want the best for their children. That is why the Bible exhorts: “Listen, O sons, to the discipline of a father and pay attention, so as to know understanding.” (Proverbs 4:1) Your parents may not be adept at putting their feelings into words. (“My parents wouldn’t let me wear mascara,” recalls one teenage girl, “but they didn’t give me a reason.”) Likely they have good reasons for feeling uneasy about the matter.

You may tend to view wearing makeup as some sort of right, something to be automatically conferred upon you when you reach some “magic age,” like 13. But as columnist Elizabeth Winship points out: “There’s no rule about the exact age at which make-​up is permissible. It depends on family and community traditions.” Your parents may feel that wearing makeup at your age would be frowned upon in the community or by fellow Christians. Your parents will be particularly concerned along these lines if they are Jehovah’s Witnesses, as they will not want your grooming to detract from your Christian ministry.​—2 Corinthians 6:3.

Your parents may also feel that wearing makeup would simply be unnecessary and inappropriate at this time in your life. After all, youth has its own beauty, a glory that is quite fleeting. (Psalm 90:10; Proverbs 20:29) They might reason, ‘Why should she do something that would disguise or alter her youthful appearance?’

Your parents may also know from personal experience just how misleading “the desires incidental to youth” can be. (2 Timothy 2:22) They may even fear that you might repeat some of the mistakes they made when they were young, and they want to protect you. One teenage girl recalls: “Mom started wearing makeup when she was very young. She became very wild and used to wear miniskirts and gobs of makeup. She didn’t want me to be like that.”

Not that you will become a loose woman simply because you apply a dab of lipstick. However, they may rightfully fear that wearing makeup could expose you to pressures you are not ready for. A father of two teenage girls is quoted by writer Ruth Bell as saying: “It’s exciting to see children turn into adults. . . . But when I look at them and see my little girls, when I say to myself, ‘Those are my children and they’re becoming adults and they’re going to have to deal with that outside world without me along to protect them,’ that’s when I get emotional. . . . This world is rough and they could get hurt.”

It is one thing to look adult. But to act adult and deal with adult pressures can be quite another thing. Are you really prepared to deal with attention from older teenage boys​—or even older men—​that might be aroused if makeup made you appear to be older than you really are?​—Compare Genesis 34:1, 2.

Making the Best of the Situation

All things considered, you may still feel that you are ready to wear makeup, and perhaps you are. What should you do? One teenage girl confessed: “I just started wearing it. I put on a little eyeshadow, and Mom thought it looked good.” Wearing makeup without permission, however, is risky business! Warns Proverbs 13:10: “By presumptuousness one only causes a struggle.” As one girl admitted: “I knew my parents would get mad if I just all of a sudden came out with makeup on.” So, what can you do? That Bible verse continues: “But with those consulting together there is wisdom.”

Yes, choose a “right time” to talk matters over with your parents. (Proverbs 25:11) Calmly explain your feelings in this regard. Explain why this is important to you, and outline exactly what you have in mind. Assure them that you do not want to look faddish or far-​out in your appearance and that you value their opinions and judgment. Perhaps they will change their minds or at least meet you halfway.

On the other hand, they may rightly conclude that you are simply not ready for makeup. But this is not the end of the world. Do what you can to make the most of your looks under the circumstances. For example, proper skin care can minimize complexion problems. “If your skin is broken out,” advises beauty consultant Jane Parks-​McKay, “draw attention away from it by . . . dressing in something that makes you look terrific​—anything to bring attention away from the negative.” Good posture, well-​manicured nails, clean, shiny hair​—all these things can help you look your best with or without makeup!

What, though, if your parents give you the go-​ahead to wear makeup? A future article will discuss its proper use.

[Footnotes]

[Picture on page 23]

“She’s wearing makeup. When can I?”