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Save Your Child’s Life!

MICHAEL and Alphina live in a rural valley among the green hills of KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa. They faced many challenges in raising seven children. With the full support of his wife, Michael did his best to obey the Bible’s command to fathers: “Go on bringing [your children] up in the discipline and mental-regulating of Jehovah.” (Ephesians 6:4) But problems sometimes develop.

For example, it is common for African herdboys to combine the cattle of one another’s parents so as to have more time to play together. Sometimes they get into mischief and talk about things they should not discuss. When Michael’s sons went out to herd the family cattle, he gave them strict instructions not to associate with certain children. (James 4:4) Yet, on returning home from work, he sometimes found them doing so. As a result, he had to discipline them.—Proverbs 23:13, 14.

Do you think that Michael was too strict with his children? Some might feel that way, but Jesus Christ said that “wisdom is proved righteous by its works.” (Matthew 11:19) Michael and Alphina created a loving atmosphere in their home, spending time with their children and teaching them Bible accounts and truths.

Michael and Alphina have four daughters—Thembekile, Siphiwe, Tholakele, and Thembekani. All of them are full-time preachers of the good news of God’s Kingdom. Two of their sons serve as presiding overseers in congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Their third son, whose wife is also a full-time evangelizer, serves as a ministerial servant.

Many Christian parents with large families have been blessed with success in raising their children. However, some children who receive a good parental upbringing forsake the truth. No doubt, their parents keep in mind Jesus’ illustration of the prodigal son and live in hope that their son or daughter will repent and eventually attain salvation.—Luke 15:21-24.

Sadly, though, some Christian parents are losing all their children to the world. This is especially a cause for concern in parts of Africa where children seem to do well until they reach their teenage years. Then, in the bloom of youth, they get enticed by the immoral ways of Satan’s world. (1 John 5:19) As a result, many fathers do not qualify to serve as congregation elders. (1 Timothy 3:1, 4, 5) Obviously, a Christian father should view the salvation of his own household as a matter of great importance. So, what can parents do to save the lives of their children?

Be a Close Friend

Jesus was not only perfect but also vastly superior to any other human in knowledge and experience. Nevertheless, he treated his imperfect disciples as close friends. (John 15:15) That is why they desired to be with him and thrived in his presence. (John 1:14, 16, 39-42; 21:7, 15-17) Parents can learn from this. Like little plants with leaves stretched out toward the warm sunlight, children thrive when there is a loving, friendly atmosphere in the home.

Parents, do your children feel free to approach you with all their concerns? Do you listen to them? Before you reach conclusions, do you draw out their thoughts and feelings so as to get a more complete picture? Do you patiently help them locate answers to certain questions by doing research with them in Bible publications?

A South African mother explains: “From the first day our daughter went to school, we encouraged her to relate the day’s events. For example, I would ask: ‘Who did you spend the lunch break with? Tell me about your new teacher. What does she look like? What activities are planned for the week?’ Once, our daughter came home and said that the English teacher was going to take the class to see a film about which they would later write a review. The title of the film was questionable. On examination, we found that it would not be suitable for a Christian. We discussed it as a family. The following day our daughter approached the teacher, explaining that she did not want to see the film, as the morals it portrayed would not be in accord with her Christian beliefs. The teacher thought the matter over and later thanked our daughter, saying that she didn’t want to take the class to see something she would regret.” The loving interest these parents consistently showed in the salvation of their daughter bore good fruitage. She has a happy, positive nature and now serves as a volunteer at the South Africa branch of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society.

Jesus set an excellent example in dealing with other people’s children. He enjoyed their company. (Mark 10:13-16) How happy parents should be to do things with their own children! In some parts of Africa, a father is ashamed to be seen playing ball or other games with his sons. But never should a Christian father feel that he is too important to be seen doing things with his children. Young ones need parents who enjoy spending time with them. This makes it easier for children to express their concerns. When such emotional needs are neglected, children may become irritated or withdrawn, especially if they are constantly being corrected.

In writing to the Colossians about family relationships, Paul said: “You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.” (Colossians 3:21) This may indicate that there sometimes is an imbalance of too much discipline and too little friendship. Children, including teenagers, who are loved and appreciated will be more likely to respond to needed discipline.

The Love of God

The most valuable inheritance that parents can pass on to their children is their own example of showing love. Children need to see and hear their parents express and show genuine love of God. A young man who serves at the South Africa branch of the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society explains: “When I was a boy, I would assist my father around the house. I loved helping him, simply because Dad really appreciated the little that I did. He would use the time to tell me many things about Jehovah. For example, I recall one Saturday when we were working hard at mowing the lawn. It was really hot. Dad was sweating, so I ran and fetched two glasses of water and put ice in them. Dad said: ‘Son, do you see how wise Jehovah is? Ice floats on water. If it sank, all life at the bottom of lakes and ponds would die. Instead, ice serves as an insulating blanket! Doesn’t that help us to know Jehovah better?’a Later, when I was imprisoned for maintaining neutrality, I had time to think. Feeling down one night in my prison cell, I recalled those words of Dad. What meaning they had! I would worship Jehovah forever if I could.”

Yes, children need to see the love of God reflected in everything their parents do. Love of God and willing obedience to him should especially be seen as the motivating force behind presence at Christian meetings, participation in the field ministry, and family Bible reading and study. (1 Corinthians 13:3) Most important, love of God should be reflected in wholehearted family prayers. The importance of giving such an inheritance to your children cannot be overemphasized. That is why the Israelites were commanded: “You must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your vital force. And these words that I am commanding you today must prove to be on your heart; and you must inculcate them in your son and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up.”—Deuteronomy 6:5-7; compare Matthew 22:37-40.

A great obstacle to loving and obeying God is our inherent sinful nature. (Romans 5:12) Therefore, the Bible also commands: “O you lovers of Jehovah, hate what is bad.” (Psalm 97:10) Bad thoughts often lead to bad acts. To avoid these, a child must also develop another vital characteristic.

The Fear of God

Love mingled with a reverential fear of displeasing Jehovah is something very desirable. Jesus Christ himself set for us the perfect example of one who found delight “in the fear of Jehovah.” (Isaiah 11:1-3) Such fear is vital as a child reaches the bloom of youth and begins to experience powerful sexual drives. Fear of God can help a youth to resist worldly pressures that may lead to immoral conduct. (Proverbs 8:13) In some communities, parents shy away from teaching their children how to deal with sexual temptations. In fact, many feel that it is wrong to discuss these matters. But what has been the result of such parental neglect?

Three medical specialists named Buga, Amoko, and Ncayiyana interviewed 1,702 girls and 903 boys from the rurals of Transkei, South Africa. The South African Medical Journal reported that “76% of the girls and 90.1% of the boys in this survey were already sexually experienced.” The average age of the girls was 15, and many were forced into sexual intercourse. Over 250 had experienced one or more pregnancies. Another consequence was a high incidence of sexually transmitted diseases.

Apparently, many parents do not see a need to teach their children how to avoid premarital sex. Instead, the foregoing journal explains: “Childbearing and motherhood are highly rated attributes of womanhood in rural Transkei society, and this is quickly perceived by girls just emerging from puberty.” The same problem is documented in other parts of the world.

Many young people in Africa are finding fault with their parents for not helping them to understand their sexuality. Some Christian parents have been too embarrassed to make use of the book Your Youth—Getting the Best Out Of It.b On pages 20-3, it explains the honorable use of the sex organs and the changes that take place at puberty.

Christian parents who meet the challenge of discussing God’s view of sex with their children are to be commended. This is best done progressively, according to a child’s ability to grasp matters. Depending on such a factor as the child’s age, parents may need to be specific in referring to body parts and their functions. Otherwise, an inexperienced youth may miss the point of what is being said.—1 Corinthians 14:8, 9.

One South African father of two daughters and a son explains: “On frequent occasions, I had opportunities to discuss the sensitive subject of sexual matters even with the girls. My wife, though, paid particular attention to our daughters, using the book Your Youth—Getting the Best Out Of It. [See pages 26-31.] When my son was 12 years old, I decided to take him for a long walk in the mountains. On that occasion, we discussed in detail the development of the body of a boy and the privileged purpose this would later serve in marriage. I also discussed with him the need to avoid the degrading habit of masturbation and to view girls with honor and respect—as he views his mother and sisters.”

Joyous Rewards

The father and mother just mentioned worked hard and are happy that they had good results in raising their three children. All three are now adults, married to faithful Christians. Their son and sons-in-law all serve as elders in the Christian congregation, and two of the couples have been in the full-time evangelizing work for many years.

Yes, parents who work hard for the salvation of their household can expect a joyous reward from children who choose to respond to such Bible teaching, for Proverbs 23:24, 25 says: “The one becoming father to a wise one will also rejoice in him. Your father and your mother will rejoice.” Consider the large family mentioned in the introduction of this article. “When I think of the spiritual progress my children have made,” says Alphina, “my heart bubbles with joy.” May all Christian parents work toward this happy reward.

[Footnotes]

[Picture on page 23]

A father can arrange for the right setting to explain the facts of life