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Good Manners​—A Trait of Godly People

¹ Good manners are rare today. Why is that? People are in such a hurry that they may seldom think of basic courtesies, such as saying “Please,” “Thank you,” or “Excuse me.” God’s Word foretold a worsening of manners in the last days when it said that people would be ‘lovers of themselves, self-assuming, haughty, unthankful, having no natural affection, without self-control, without love of goodness, and headstrong.’ (2 Tim. 3:1-4) All such traits make for bad manners. As godly people, Christians must be on guard so as not to adopt this world’s lack of respect for others.

² What Are Manners? Good manners can be described as the acute awareness of the feelings of others, the ability to live with others in peace. Aspects of good manners are considerateness, courteousness, kindness, politeness, tactfulness, and thoughtfulness. These traits find their roots in one’s love for God and neighbor. (Luke 10:27) They cost nothing, but they are worth everything in enhancing our contacts with others.

³ Jesus Christ set the perfect example. He always practiced the Golden Rule: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them.” (Luke 6:31) Do we not marvel at Jesus’ thoughtfulness and loving manner in dealing with his disciples? (Matt. 11:28-30) His good manners did not come from rules laid down in etiquette books. They sprang from a sincere and generous heart. We must try to imitate his fine example.

⁴ When do Christians need good manners? Only on special occasions, when concerned about making a good impression? Are they needed only when trying to influence others? No! We ought to manifest good manners at all times. In what ways in particular should we be concerned about this in our association with one another in the congregation?

⁵ At the Kingdom Hall: The Kingdom Hall is our place of worship. We are there at the invitation of Jehovah God. In that sense, we are guests. (Ps. 15:1) Are we exemplary guests when we come to the Kingdom Hall? Do we give appropriate attention to our dress and grooming? Surely we should want to avoid adornment that is casual or extreme. Whether attending conventions or our weekly congregation meetings, Jehovah’s people are noted for their mannerly appearance befitting those professing to reverence God. (1 Tim. 2:9, 10) Thus we show due consideration and respect for both our heavenly Host and the other guests that have been invited.

⁶ Another way in which we show good manners in connection with meetings is by being on time. Admittedly, this is not always easy. Some may live quite a distance away or may have large families to get ready. It has been noted in some congregations, however, that as many as 25 percent of the publishers habitually arrive after the opening song and prayer. This is a serious matter. It is good to remember that manners have to do with our awareness of the feelings of others. Jehovah, our gracious Host, has arranged these spiritual feasts for our benefit. We show our appreciation and concern for his feelings by being punctual. Additionally, arriving late at meetings is distracting and shows disrespect for those who are already in attendance.

⁷ When we assemble, do we take note of new ones in attendance? Welcoming them is part of being mannerly. (Matt. 5:47; Rom. 15:7) A gracious greeting, a warm handshake, a kind smile​—all small things, but they add to what identifies us as true Christians. (John 13:35) After coming to a Kingdom Hall for the first time, a man said: “I met more genuinely loving people, total strangers, in one day than I had ever met in the church in which I was raised. It was apparent that I had found the truth.” As a result, he changed his life course, and seven months later he was baptized. Yes, good manners can have far-reaching effects!

⁸ If we are mannerly toward strangers we meet, should we not be so “especially toward those related to us in the faith”? (Gal. 6:10) The principle applies: “You must show consideration for the person of an old man [or woman].” (Lev. 19:32) Never should such ones be overlooked at our gatherings.

⁹ Paying Close Attention: During congregation meetings, Christian ministers of God are speaking in order to impart some spiritual gift to upbuild us. (Rom. 1:11) It would certainly demonstrate very poor manners on our part if we were to doze off, noisily chew gum, repeatedly whisper to someone sitting nearby, make unnecessary trips to the rest room, read unrelated material, or attend to other things during the meeting. Elders should be exemplary in this regard. Good Christian manners will move us to show proper respect for the speaker and his Bible-based message by giving him our undivided attention.

¹⁰ Additionally, out of consideration for both the speaker and the audience, we should keep electronic pagers and cellular telephones from disrupting our meetings.

¹¹ Manners and Children: Parents should always be alert to the conduct of their children. If a young one begins crying or becomes restless during the meeting and this is disturbing others, it is good to take the child out of the auditorium as soon as possible in order to quiet him. This may be difficult at times, but remember, this shows that you are alert to the feelings of others. Parents with small children who are likely to become restless often choose to sit toward the rear of the auditorium so as to disturb as few as possible should it become necessary for them to get up during the meeting. Of course, the rest in attendance can show due consideration for families by leaving the back rows open for them to use, if desired.

¹² Parents must also be aware of their children’s conduct before and after meetings. Children should not be running inside the building, as this can cause accidents. Running around outside the Kingdom Hall can also be dangerous, particularly in the evenings when visibility is limited. Loud talking outdoors can disturb neighbors and reflect negatively on our worship. Parents who make a conscientious effort to supervise their children both inside and outside the Kingdom Hall are to be commended because this adds to the pleasantness of our dwelling together in unity.​—Ps. 133:1.

¹³ At the Book Study: We appreciate the hospitality of our brothers who open their homes for congregation meetings. When attending, we need to show respect and consideration for their property. Before entering, we should carefully wipe our shoes in order to avoid soiling floors or carpets. Parents should supervise their children, making sure that they stay in the area of the home designated for the book study. While the group may be small and the atmosphere somewhat informal, we should not take liberties in the homes of others. A young child’s parent should accompany him or her when having to use the bathroom. Further, since the book study is a congregation meeting, we should dress as we do when going to the Kingdom Hall.

¹⁴ Good Manners Are Vital: Practicing Christian manners not only reflects well on our ministry but also promotes good relations with others. (2 Cor. 6:3, 4, 6) As worshipers of the happy God, we should find it easy to smile, to be agreeable, and even to do the small, kindly things that bring joy to others. These mannerly traits will beautify our lives as godly people.