1. Elders need to maintain the proper attitude toward assisting others. The apostle Paul referred to an outstanding quality of Jesus when he wrote: “We, though, who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those not strong, and not to be pleasing ourselves. . . . For even the Christ did not please himself.” (Rom. 15:1-3) Paul told the Ephesian elders: “You must assist those who are weak.” (Acts 20:35) Elders should be keenly aware of the need to “speak consolingly to the depressed souls, support the weak, be long-suffering toward all.” (1 Thess. 5:14) By doing so, elders imitate the Great Shepherd, Jehovah!​—Ps. 23:1-4.

2. Today, Jehovah is having a loving work done that harmonizes with his ancient promise: “I will search for my sheep and care for them. . . . I will deliver them out of all the places to which they have been scattered . . . In a good pasturage I shall feed them . . . The lost one I shall search for, . . . and the broken one I shall bandage and the ailing one I shall strengthen.”​—Ezek. 34:11-16.

3. What, though, if your efforts do not seem to be producing good results? Do not give up quickly. Adjusting an imperfect heart can be a delicate and time-consuming endeavor, but it can lead to great satisfaction. (Ps. 103:13, 14; 2 Cor. 13:7-9) Be supportive yet balanced in the amount of time you spend on those with chronic problems.

4. Alert, loving shepherds will detect symptoms of spiritual unsteadiness in others and then act decisively to help them before the problems escalate into serious sins. (Gal. 6:1, 2) Symptoms of spiritual fatigue include: lack of self-control in eating, drinking, and pursuit of pleasure; a complacent spirit; loss of enthusiasm for the truth, including daily Bible reading and personal study; harboring serious and lingering doubts; neglecting association at congregation meetings; and becoming overly critical of elders and the organization.​—w86 1/15 pp. 18-19.

5. Signs of spiritual weakness are usually symptoms of neglecting one or more aspects of a good spiritual routine. Once you recognize signs of spiritual weakness, help the weak one see how he can make improvement. Scriptural shepherding calls can often encourage individuals to identify any spiritual weakness and avoid falling into serious sin. Try to motivate him to take advantage of the following Scriptural provisions to strengthen his faith: prayer for help by holy spirit (Luke 11:13; Gal. 5:22, 23; 1 Pet. 4:7); daily Bible reading and personal study in Christian publications (Ps. 1:1, 2); meditation on Scriptural matters (Ps. 77:12); regular attendance at meetings, assemblies, and conventions (Neh. 8:1-3, 8, 10; Heb. 10:23-25); regular participation in field service (Acts 20:18-21); willingness to accept spiritual help from congregation elders as well as from traveling overseers.​—Rom. 1:11, 12; Heb. 13:17.

6. The primary objective of a shepherding call is to impart a spiritual gift, to help make firm, and to have an interchange of encouragement. (Rom. 1:11, 12) An elder may shepherd at the publisher’s home, at the Kingdom Hall, while in field service, over the telephone, or on other occasions. The following basic points will assist in making encouraging visits to the homes of publishers.​—See February 2, 2014, letter to all bodies of elders regarding shepherding.

• Make an appointment: Show consideration by making an appointment. If there is a serious problem you plan to discuss, it would be proper to inform the publisher of this before making the call.

• Prepare: Pray for Jehovah’s guidance. Consider the individual’s circumstances in determining his spiritual condition. Give thought to what kind of direction, encouragement, or counsel will be most beneficial. When there is a serious problem, arrange for another elder to accompany you. On other calls, you may take a qualified ministerial servant.

• Keep the atmosphere relaxed, loving, and positive: Express genuine concern for the individual’s welfare. Give warm commendation for the good things he has done and is doing. Listen carefully. If you perceive that he might have a problem, tactfully draw the person out. Adapt your comments according to the need.

• Use the Bible: God’s Word should be the primary source of information because it “exerts power.” (Heb. 4:12) Skillful use of it lets Jehovah speak to the heart of the brother or sister.

• Do not stay too long: If an agreed-upon time is established, stick to it. If necessary, set up another visit to continue the discussion.

• Conclude with a prayer: A prayer is appropriate and truly appreciated.​—Phil. 4:6, 7.

• Follow up to see if further aid is needed and can be given.

7. Giving counsel is not only a privilege but also a weighty responsibility. Be alert to give counsel before bad trends progress too far. (Prov. 27:5, 6) Before proceeding with counsel, give careful thought as to what should be said and how to present the counsel in order to obtain the best results. Your endeavor should be to readjust the person so that he will grow spiritually.​—Gal. 6:1.

8. Take sufficient time to listen; get all the facts. (Jas. 1:19; Prov. 18:13) It is essential to get the whole picture if you are to manifest true understanding, insight, and discernment in handling any question or problem.

9. Carefully plan your remarks; weigh your words. Endeavor to express yourself in a loving way. Remember that you are dealing with Jehovah’s sheep and they should be treated with tenderness. (Ps. 100:3; w89 9/15 p. 19) Generally, it is beneficial to preface exhortation with specific, sincere commendation.

10. Carefully base what you say on the Bible and on Bible-based publications. (Ps. 119:105) Rather than expressing your personal opinion, let the Bible shape your view of what needs to be said. Endeavor to reach the heart, not just the mind.

11. In sensitive areas, such as dress and grooming and entertainment, it may be wise to seek the observations of another elder before providing counsel. This will ensure that your counsel is solidly based on God’s Word and is not simply your personal opinion or preference. (Eccl. 7:16) If the counsel is appropriate, then you should speak to the individual without delay.

12. The service overseer, along with the secretary, should be alert to assign each inactive publisher in the territory to a group overseer. The group overseer should then endeavor to provide needed help, either personally or through another qualified elder in the group. Depending on the circumstances, group servants or assistants may accompany an elder when he visits an inactive one.

13. The principal objective of a visit is to help inactive ones appreciate that Jehovah cares for them. The shepherds should endeavor to be warm and upbuilding. They might share a few encouraging Scriptural points from chapter 24 of Draw Close to Jehovah or from the article “You Are Precious in God’s Eyes!,” which appeared in the April 1, 1995, Watchtower, pages 10-15, or from The Watchtower of November 15, 2008, pages 8-16. Other material may be used, according to the needs and circumstances of the person.

14. When an inactive person has been involved in serious wrongdoing and now desires to return to the congregation, the shepherds need to reflect Jehovah’s endearing quality of love. If the person acknowledges that he has sinned against Jehovah and he demonstrates genuine repentance, the shepherds will help him to appreciate that he can receive Jehovah’s forgiveness. Loving discipline may be required.​—Heb. 12:7-11; see The Watchtower of November 15, 2008, pages 14-15, paragraphs 12-13.

15. A Bible study may be helpful in some cases when an inactive publisher wishes to resume activity with the congregation. The group overseer may discuss this with the service overseer, who will then consult with the other members of the service committee. If the service committee arranges for a Bible study, they should consider who is best suited to conduct the study, weighing the circumstances that are involved. They should also determine what material should be used. With inactive ones who have a good knowledge of Bible truth but who have been sidetracked from Christian activities, a study of section 4 of Draw Close to Jehovah may help them to rekindle their love for Jehovah.​—od p. 85-86.

16. If the person has been inactive for only a short time, a helping hand from an experienced publisher might be all that is needed to reactivate the individual in the field service. A Bible study may not be necessary.

17. Before a longtime inactive one is invited to share again in the ministry, two elders should meet with him to see if he meets the basic requirements to serve as a publisher, as outlined on pages 79-81 of Organized to Do Jehovah’s Will.​—km 11/00 “Question Box.”

18. The way married people discharge their marital responsibilities affects their relationship with Jehovah. (1 Pet. 3:7) In addition, a marriage can either bring honor to Jehovah and the congregation or cause reproach. Therefore, if fellow Christians experience marital difficulties resulting in one or both parties approaching the elders to seek help, the elders should try to provide loving counsel from the Scriptures and practical suggestions from Christian publications. Usually it is best to have both mates present. If only one is present, discuss only what he or she can do to improve the situation.

19. Elders should be modest as they try to provide help. Because they cannot know everything that occurs in a marriage, they should avoid taking sides. (Prov. 18:13) Likely both mates could make improvement and must share the blame for their marital problems. (Rom. 3:23; Jas. 3:2) Jehovah has not given elders the authority to make marital decisions for others. (2 Cor. 1:24; Gal. 6:5; w88 11/1 p. 21) Though the elders can offer assistance, it is up to the couple to decide how they will handle their marital affairs.

20. If a Christian is contemplating separation, the elders can point out what the Scriptures say. (1 Cor. 7:10, 11) They can explain that there are a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation. (lv pp. 219-221; w88 11/1 pp. 22-25) If the Christian is considering obtaining a divorce, the elders should explain that divorce does not free him to remarry unless adultery occurs. (Matt. 19:9) In addition, the extreme step of divorce may make it more difficult to reconcile. Elders should not encourage separation or divorce; neither should they forbid it. Separation and divorce are personal matters, and each Christian will have to accept the consequences for his decision. (Gal. 6:7) However, the elders may determine that a publisher’s decisions in this area disqualify him or her from receiving special privileges normally given to those viewed as exemplary.

21. Those who as children were abused, sexually or otherwise, many times grow up to be adults with emotional scars. They are in need of much loving attention. Thus, you will want to be conscious of treating such ones with thoughtfulness, tenderness, and kindness. Such an attitude helps to assure them that you really care for them and that you are “like a hiding place from the wind and a place of concealment from the rainstorm.” (Isa. 32:2) Like God, we should be “tenderly compassionate.” (Eph. 4:32) When offering encouragement to such ones, select from the body of elders those elders best qualified to give the needed assistance. Remember that elders have varied abilities; some may be more effective than others in handling these cases.​—1 Cor. 12:4.

22. It must be recognized that elders as such are not mental-health professionals or therapists but are spiritual shepherds. (1 Pet. 5:2) Consequently, you should not conduct sessions for what some may view as group therapy. It is not necessary to spend time reading secular publications dealing with worldly psychology or psychiatry. You should not take on a role similar to that of a professional therapist. Someone who has serious mental or emotional illness may need professional help.​—w88 10/15 p. 27.

23. One way you can show sincere interest is by being a good listener. (Prov. 21:13; Jas. 1:19) The October 1, 1983, issue of The Watchtower, on page 28, cautions against telling a sufferer who seeks assistance just to forget what occurred. Many have found great relief simply in talking with a sympathetic, nonjudgmental elder who can provide “the good word” of encouragement. (Prov. 12:25) God’s Word has healing power. Jehovah can heal “brokenhearted ones.” (Ps. 30:2; 147:3) Though you may need to ask tactful questions to help an afflicted one express himself, avoid probing unnecessarily or repeatedly into the details of the abuse, which can have a negative effect. After patiently listening, apply the soothing oil of God’s Word. (Jas. 5:13-15) ‘The peace of God excels all thought,’ including disquieting thoughts.​—Phil. 4:7; Ps. 94:19; w95 1/1 p. 9 pars. 18-20; g91 10/8 pp. 3-11.

24. Sometimes a sister who suffered abuse as a child may approach a capable older sister for help. It is understood that a sister would not get involved in matters that need the attention of the elders. She can, however, give such a sister emotional support and encouragement as her circumstances and time allow. (w90 3/15 p. 28) If the elders are aware that a sister is offering such help, they should check with her from time to time as to the progress being made.

25. There are times when an emotionally distressed Christian may seek professional help. Whether a Christian or his family pursues treatment from psychiatrists, psychologists, or therapists is a personal decision. An elder should not assume the responsibility of recommending a specific practitioner or facility. He may draw attention to or discuss material in the publications that provides cautions regarding therapies that may conflict with Bible principles. (w88 10/15 pp. 28-29; w82 6/15 pp. 25-29; w75 pp. 255-256) While participating in group therapy by a professional therapist is a matter for personal decision, there could be a revealing of confidential facts about other members of the Christian congregation during such sessions if a Christian does not exercise discretion.

26. Elders must recognize that the time they can spend in helping those who are disturbed emotionally is limited. Therefore, they must balance this shepherding responsibility with all their other responsibilities, which include caring for the spiritual, emotional, and material needs of their own family and assisting all in the congregation. In some cases an abuse victim may ask for more attention than you can give. Elders need to maintain soundness of mind. (1 Pet. 4:7) Some elders have found it beneficial to place limits on the time they spend in shepherding. It may take several visits to get the desired relief for the victim, if this is possible. If the individual approaches you looking for help at times when you cannot discuss the problem extensively, perhaps giving some brief words of encouragement, assuring that one of Jehovah’s love, reading an appropriate scripture, or offering a short prayer will affirm to the sufferer your interest and willingness to help to the extent possible. Also, discussing Biblical examples of some who had to endure a terrible childhood and yet succeeded in becoming faithful servants of Jehovah can help sufferers see that they need not be permanent victims of a bad family life.​—w01 4/15 pp. 25-28.

27. Elders and ministerial servants must never meet alone with a sister not closely related to them and should avoid becoming the sole confidant of an individual of the opposite sex who is experiencing marital problems. This includes lengthy phone conversations. Of course, this does not mean that it would be inappropriate for an elder to talk with a sister while in the full view of others at her home, at congregation meetings, or in the field service.​—w06 9/15 p. 26 par. 7.

28. It is important never to meet alone with a sister who is a victim of abuse, suffers from depression, or for any other reason is in a delicate emotional state. A woman in such an emotional state may be more vulnerable and may be prone to develop improper feelings toward an elder meeting with her. So that this does not occur, it is the course of wisdom to have different pairs of elders involved in shepherding such a sister. This would serve as a protection for the elders, as well as for the sister, because it is possible for an elder to develop improper feelings for a sister he is comforting or counseling.​—Jer. 17:9.