The content displayed below is for educational and archival purposes only.Unless stated otherwise, content is © Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania
You may be able to find the original on wol.jw.org
Video above © Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of Pennsylvania
00:00:01 Welcome! 00:00:03 This month’s program will help us show love and respect in marriage. 00:00:07 Here are a few highlights. 00:00:09 Is your marriage strained 00:00:12 because your spouse opposes the truth? 00:00:14 We’ll see how Alexandru’s love and patience 00:00:18 promoted peace in his marriage 00:00:20 and ultimately moved his wife, Dorina, to serve Jehovah. 00:00:24 We’ll learn how Claudius Johnson dealt with changing circumstances. 00:00:29 And our new original song reminds us of the joys of marriage 00:00:33 based on Bible principles. 00:00:37 This is JW Broadcasting® for March 2021! 00:00:59 Jehovah designed marriage 00:01:01 as a beautiful and rewarding relationship 00:01:04 between a husband and a wife. 00:01:06 When a husband and wife 00:01:07 fulfill their God-given roles 00:01:09 and they treat each other 00:01:10 with love and respect, 00:01:12 their marriage is a wonderful and intimate friendship. 00:01:16 A marriage that has good patterns 00:01:18 shaped by Jehovah’s principles 00:01:20 looks like this well-balanced family circle. 00:01:25 But if a married couple over time 00:01:27 has set bad patterns in how they deal with each other, 00:01:30 this is often the result. 00:01:32 Life is going to be a bit rough for them. 00:01:35 Let’s consider what Jehovah says 00:01:38 about the roles of husband and wife 00:01:40 and then discuss how love and respect 00:01:43 are real keys to a happy marriage. 00:01:46 So, what roles did Jehovah give 00:01:48 to the man and woman in marriage? 00:01:51 Well, Jehovah places the husband as head of the family. 00:01:55 Ephesians 5:23 says: 00:01:58 “A husband is head of his wife.” 00:02:01 So that means that the husband makes final decisions for the family. 00:02:05 And his decisions will reflect his love for his wife, 00:02:08 his children, and his understanding of their spiritual, 00:02:11 physical, and emotional needs. 00:02:14 At 1 Corinthians 11:3, 00:02:17 we get a sense, though, of how Jehovah feels about the husband’s role. 00:02:22 And as we read this together, I want you to imagine 00:02:24 Jehovah saying to husbands: ‘Yes, you’re head of the family.’ 00:02:28 “But I want you to know that the head 00:02:32 “of every man is the Christ; 00:02:34 in turn, the head of a woman is the man.” 00:02:38 Sounds a lot like a father-in-law speaking to the groom: 00:02:41 “You can marry my daughter, 00:02:43 but you’d better treat her good because you’re responsible to me.” 00:02:48 Well, Jehovah is giving a very clear message for husbands. 00:02:51 Jehovah will hold you accountable to him 00:02:55 for how you treat your wife. 00:02:57 It’s something for us husbands to think about, isn’t it? 00:03:01 Well, what about the role of a wife? 00:03:04 Jehovah assigned wives as a beloved partner to her husband. 00:03:08 And as partners, they can discuss important family matters 00:03:11 and work together to make their marriage a success. 00:03:15 Jehovah placed the woman under the headship of the man, 00:03:18 and as such, her role is to be in subjection to him. 00:03:23 At Ephesians 5:22, 00:03:26 it says: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord.” 00:03:32 Subjection —said a certain way, it almost sounds bad: 00:03:36 “You have to be in subjection!” 00:03:38 But is the subjection of a Christian wife to a Christian husband a bad thing? 00:03:43 No. 00:03:45 See, subjection as described in the Bible 00:03:47 is not about being subservient; 00:03:50 it’s about her role in the marriage. 00:03:53 You’re partners, each with a beautiful role to fulfill. 00:03:57 We could illustrate it with watching a couple ice skating. 00:04:01 As they move gracefully across the ice, do you think to yourself, 00:04:05 ‘How come they never let her hold him over her head?’ 00:04:09 Well, no. 00:04:11 You look at him; you look at her. 00:04:13 It’s obvious who should hold who over their head. 00:04:17 Well, just as we admire and respect a woman’s role as an ice skating partner, 00:04:21 a husband deeply loves and appreciates 00:04:24 his wife’s role as his partner 00:04:26 as they work gracefully together to make their marriage a success. 00:04:31 Well, now that we’ve briefly reviewed the roles for husbands and wives, 00:04:35 let’s read together a key Scriptural principle 00:04:39 at Ephesians 5:33 00:04:42 that shows how Jehovah wants husbands and wives 00:04:46 to fulfill their roles in marriage. 00:04:49 Ephesians 5:33: 00:04:53 “Each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; 00:04:58 on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” 00:05:03 Well, the obvious message in this scripture 00:05:06 is that husbands should love their wives 00:05:09 and wives should respect their husbands. 00:05:12 However, there’s another way to look at this scripture 00:05:15 and learn something about husbands and wives. 00:05:18 Jehovah God is telling us what each mate needs. 00:05:22 Men need respect, and women need love. 00:05:26 Now, this is not to say that men don’t need love 00:05:30 and women don’t need to be respected. 00:05:32 However, it does mean that men 00:05:35 tend to emphasize respect and status 00:05:38 and women often emphasize 00:05:40 intimacy, connection, and love. 00:05:44 This perfect principle can help us to understand 00:05:47 why our husband or wife may act or feel a certain way. 00:05:52 Now, this difference in emphasis affects many areas of married life. 00:05:57 Let’s consider three examples 00:06:00 of how this powerful Scriptural principle of love and respect 00:06:05 can give us insight into how a husband and wife 00:06:09 talk to each other, 00:06:11 how they solve problems, 00:06:12 and how they act in the company of others. 00:06:15 Let’s consider our first example: 00:06:17 how they talk to each other. 00:06:19 Now, since a wife’s emphasis 00:06:21 is on being loved, 00:06:23 her conversations often stress friendship 00:06:27 and connection when she talks to her husband. 00:06:29 She’s eager to share the details of her life with him 00:06:32 and in this way become closer to him. 00:06:35 She wants him, in turn, to share with her the details of his day and life. 00:06:40 Husbands, your wife 00:06:43 feels loved when you learn to communicate with her 00:06:46 in a way that tells her you truly care about her. 00:06:51 She places great emphasis on conversation and sharing her life with you 00:06:55 and likewise you sharing your life with her. 00:06:59 For example, a wife 00:07:02 tells her husband about something 00:07:04 that happened to her that day. 00:07:06 He grows impatient with the story and interrupts 00:07:09 or changes the subject or offers a quick solution. 00:07:12 How does she feel? 00:07:15 ‘Why can’t he listen to the whole story? 00:07:18 Has he lost interest in me?’ 00:07:21 It’s important that husbands give their wives 00:07:24 their full attention as they speak. 00:07:26 After a long day at work, 00:07:28 his mind may be focused on events that happened to him that day. 00:07:32 And he may without realizing it 00:07:35 feel that the events or conversation of his wife 00:07:38 aren’t on important subjects. 00:07:41 So he may be inclined to play down the events in her life 00:07:44 as unimportant, or trivial, 00:07:46 while events he talks about are substantial and important 00:07:50 because they happened to him. 00:07:52 Well, such a feeling over time can truly discourage a wife. 00:07:56 A husband’s disinterest in her stories 00:07:59 and events of her life feels a lot like disinterest in her. 00:08:05 The advice of Proverbs 20:5 is good for husbands. 00:08:10 It says: “The thoughts of a man’s [or we could say in this case, woman’s] heart 00:08:15 “are like deep waters, 00:08:18 but the discerning man draws them out.” 00:08:21 That’s great advice for husbands. 00:08:25 Husbands, when you draw 00:08:26 your wife out, let her speak from her heart. 00:08:29 That’s an indication of great love 00:08:32 and affection for your dear wife. 00:08:35 Men, on the other hand, often view conversation differently. 00:08:39 A husband comes home, and his wife asks, “How was your day?” 00:08:42 He says: “It was OK. Nothing special.” 00:08:45 But later that night when they’re with a group of friends, 00:08:49 he tells a story about what happened at work. 00:08:51 And she wonders, 00:08:53 ‘Well, why didn’t he tell me that when I asked about his day?’ 00:08:57 Well, since a man’s emphasis is on respect, 00:09:01 they often use conversation 00:09:03 to establish respect and status with others. 00:09:06 A husband may feel that his wife already respects him, 00:09:10 so there’s no need to tell her the story. 00:09:14 Wives, you can encourage your husband to share his life with you 00:09:17 by being interested in his work and activities. 00:09:20 If you tell him, “Don’t talk to me 00:09:22 about all that work stuff with me,” he won’t 00:09:25 and you’ll cut yourself off from a part of his life. 00:09:29 Show him that you’re proud of what he does to support the family. 00:09:33 Be interested in what happened to him, 00:09:35 how he feels about things, or challenges that he overcame. 00:09:38 While you may not find his work all that interesting, 00:09:41 remember, it is important to him. 00:09:46 Let’s consider our second example: 00:09:48 how they solve problems. 00:09:51 Now I want you to imagine a husband and wife. 00:09:53 They’re in a car, they’re looking for an address, 00:09:55 and they’re lost. 00:09:57 And the wife suggests that they ask someone for directions. 00:10:01 She’s thinking, ‘Why won’t he ask?’ 00:10:04 He’s thinking, ‘Why can’t she just let me find it?’ 00:10:09 You see, since the man’s emphasis is on respect, 00:10:13 he’s trying to avoid looking lost to a stranger. 00:10:16 The act of asking someone else for directions 00:10:20 may make him feel like he’s in a lower position. 00:10:23 Finding their way is a challenge to him, 00:10:26 and he wants to show his wife that he can find it on his own. 00:10:30 For the woman, such an idea may not come to mind. 00:10:33 She may view it as a simple interchange between them and a stranger. 00:10:37 They get help and directions, and they find out where they’re going. 00:10:41 At 1 Corinthians 7:33, Jehovah tells us: 00:10:46 “But the married man is anxious . . . , 00:10:48 how he may gain the approval of his wife.” 00:10:52 Wives, your husband is anxious to have your approval and respect. 00:10:57 But on balance, husbands have to be careful 00:11:00 that an emphasis on respect doesn’t become unreasonable. 00:11:03 It won’t hurt us to ask for directions or help at times. 00:11:08 On the other hand, a wife needs to be careful 00:11:10 that she doesn’t show impatience by her words or tone 00:11:14 as her husband works his way through a problem. 00:11:18 A wife who clearly understands her husband’s desire 00:11:21 to solve problems for the family 00:11:23 will understand his actions and will do her part to support him, 00:11:27 even in the little things around the home. 00:11:30 Now, this support in the little areas of life 00:11:33 builds his confidence in her support 00:11:36 and can be a major factor 00:11:38 in whether a husband takes the lead in larger matters. 00:11:42 Our third and final example: 00:11:44 how they act in front of others. 00:11:48 Have you ever seen a couple where one of them is telling a story 00:11:52 and the other is constantly correcting the details? 00:11:56 or the husband is trying to give some direction 00:11:59 and the wife corrects or challenges the direction? 00:12:02 or the husband is telling others some unflattering story 00:12:06 that hurts his wife’s feelings? 00:12:09 How can Ephesians 5:33 00:12:12 help a wife in these situations? 00:12:15 Well, since a husband’s emphasis is on respect, 00:12:18 he’ll be much more sensitive 00:12:21 to comments his wife may make in front of others. 00:12:24 It can hurt a husband deeply 00:12:27 when his wife openly challenges him in front of others. 00:12:31 Proverbs 31:12 00:12:35 has this advice for wives: 00:12:37 “She rewards him with good, not bad, 00:12:41 all the days of her life.” 00:12:44 So when in public or when others are around 00:12:47 —even close family and children— 00:12:49 try not to openly disagree with him, correct him, 00:12:52 or attempt to take over what he’s doing. 00:12:55 How you speak to your husband in front of others 00:12:58 is a great way to show your deep respect for him. 00:13:02 It also builds respect for him in others, including any children in the family. 00:13:09 Well, how can Ephesians 5:33 00:13:11 help a husband act in front of others? 00:13:15 Well, when in public, husbands will want to act 00:13:18 like the husband at Proverbs 31:28. 00:13:22 It says: “Her husband rises up and praises her.” 00:13:28 It’s common today for husbands to make fun of 00:13:31 or even say demeaning things about their wives. 00:13:34 But since a wife places so much emphasis 00:13:37 on connection and friendship, 00:13:39 she can really be hurt when demeaning remarks are said 00:13:42 to get a laugh; it makes her feel awful. 00:13:46 Husbands, your wife considers you her best friend, 00:13:49 the one she shares everything with. 00:13:51 If you break that trust, she feels unloved and hurt. 00:13:58 Now, the best time to bring matters to each other’s attention 00:14:00 is when you’re in private or, if needed, when you can talk in such a way 00:14:04 that others cannot hear what’s being said. 00:14:08 In this way, a wife shows deep respect for her husband 00:14:12 and the husband shows his love for his wife. 00:14:17 So in review, we’ve considered just three situations 00:14:21 that the principle of love and respect 00:14:24 can help us to have a successful marriage: 00:14:27 how a husband and wife talk to each other, 00:14:30 how they solve problems, 00:14:32 and how they act in the company of others. 00:14:36 A good marriage is hard work. 00:14:38 How is your marriage? 00:14:40 Would you say that you’ve developed good patterns 00:14:44 or bad patterns in dealing with each other? 00:14:47 When was the last time you talked as a couple 00:14:50 about love and respect for each other? 00:14:54 Jehovah’s perfect advice at Ephesians 5:33 00:14:58 can help the marriage of two imperfect people. 00:15:02 In just a few words in this verse, 00:15:05 Jehovah is sharing with us a key principle 00:15:07 of how he designed marriage. 00:15:09 He’s telling us what each needs and places emphasis on. 00:15:14 Husbands put emphasis on being respected, 00:15:18 and wives put emphasis on being loved. 00:15:21 And this principle forms a key part 00:15:24 of the divine pattern for marriage. 00:15:27 If you want your marriage to operate as Jehovah designed, 00:15:32 then work hard to apply his perfect principle 00:15:37 of love and respect in your marriage. 00:15:43 Why can we be confident 00:15:45 that Bible principles for husbands and wives work? 00:15:49 Because they’ve worked for Jehovah’s people in the past. 00:15:52 In the following dramatization, 00:15:54 notice what wives and husbands 00:15:56 can learn from the example of Sarah. 00:16:25 Pioneering where the need is greater wasn’t easy. 00:16:34 After a long day in service, I had a part to work on. 00:16:39 Thankfully, Jess took care of everything, 00:16:42 so I could focus on my part. 00:16:44 She’s the best! 00:17:06 Poor thing, she was exhausted. 00:17:10 Good thing we were turning in early. 00:17:17 William and I couldn’t agree on much lately. 00:17:22 We couldn’t afford this! 00:17:26 There had to be something cheaper, 00:17:30 but he wouldn’t listen. 00:17:45 Sometimes, I feel that my husband doesn’t make the best decisions. 00:17:57 I just wish he’d value my suggestions. 00:18:01 Frankly, I’ve given up trying. 00:18:11 “Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, 00:18:13 calling him lord.” 00:18:15 Hebrews chapter 11 and Isaiah chapter 51 00:18:18 also cite Sarah as a fine example for Christian wives. 00:18:22 But Christian husbands 00:18:24 can also learn much from carefully examining . . . 00:18:28 Hmm. 00:18:29 Sarah’s example: for me. 00:18:47 “Sarah was willing to move to parts unknown 00:19:02 A life fraught with danger and hardship.” 00:19:09 She unselfishly supported Abraham 00:19:11 no matter what 00:19:22 —just like my Jessica. 00:19:31 She does without, never complains 00:19:35 —what a gem! 00:19:39 I can do better letting her know 00:19:42 just how precious she is to me. 00:20:04 Sarah submissively obeyed her husband, 00:20:08 but she also spoke up. 00:20:42 She loved her son, 00:20:44 and she knew what was at stake 00:20:46 —God’s promises through Isaac. 00:20:52 Even though she knew it would upset Abraham, 00:20:58 she spoke up. 00:21:12 She must have thought carefully 00:21:14 before speaking to him. 00:21:17 After all, she called him “lord.” 00:21:22 Jehovah blessed her 00:21:24 for her loyal support of Abraham, 00:21:28 even reminding him to listen to her. 00:21:34 I knew I couldn’t expect Jehovah 00:21:37 to whisper in my husband’s ear. 00:21:41 But did my speech show respect like Sarah’s? 00:21:47 I needed to tell him how I felt, 00:21:50 but I needed to do it the right way. 00:21:55 That night we spoke, 00:21:58 and little by little things started to improve. 00:22:08 Imitating Sarah really worked. 00:22:18 In our next video, we’ll get to know Claudius Johnson. 00:22:23 Even though his wife died over 20 years ago, 00:22:26 I think you’ll see from his interview 00:22:28 that his spiritual qualities and focus on Kingdom interests 00:22:32 enhanced his over four decades of marriage. 00:22:37 Prayer is an important thing. 00:22:39 With everything I do, 00:22:42 I always go to Jehovah in prayer 00:22:44 and ask for his guidance. 00:22:47 I was born on the 26th of March, 1923 00:22:52 in Panama. 00:22:53 I was baptized in August 1946 00:22:57 in Cleveland, Ohio. 00:23:01 I started pioneering 00:23:03 in January of 1947. 00:23:08 There are a couple of scriptures that have been most influential in my life. 00:23:13 One is Psalm 55:22, 00:23:16 which says: “Throw your burden on Jehovah, 00:23:20 “and he will sustain you. 00:23:22 Never will he allow the righteous one to fall.” 00:23:28 One of the most trying experiences of my life 00:23:29 was facing the Selective Service Board. 00:23:33 I registered as was required by law, 00:23:37 and I received the classification of 1-A 00:23:40 —fit for military service. 00:23:42 I then spoke 00:23:45 with the Society’s Legal Department, 00:23:47 and I was instructed to appeal the decision 00:23:49 because I was a regular pioneer. 00:23:52 I had to go to the draft board, 00:23:56 and there I was severely questioned. 00:23:58 One of the problems they had 00:24:01 was that I had a part-time job, 00:24:04 and they felt that 00:24:06 that interfered with my being classified as a full-time minister. 00:24:11 However, because I was conducting 00:24:14 about 12 Bible studies at that time, 00:24:16 I took copies 00:24:18 of all those records and presented them to the board. 00:24:22 The chairman said to me, 00:24:24 “Are you saying that if we were 00:24:26 “to talk to all of these people, they would tell us 00:24:29 that you are conducting Bible studies with them every week?” 00:24:31 And I said, “Yes, Sir.” 00:24:33 While they are deliberating, 00:24:37 I am praying hard, “Jehovah, help them 00:24:39 to make a proper decision.” 00:24:41 In a few days’ time, 00:24:43 the classification card came as 4-D. 00:24:47 I was classified as a Religious Minister, 00:24:52 and I lifted my thoughts to Jehovah and said, “Thank you, Jehovah, very much!” 00:24:57 When I was in the circuit work in Cuba, 00:25:00 I had a few encounters with soldiers. 00:25:03 It’s difficult to understand 00:25:05 the tense atmosphere 00:25:07 that existed back in those days 00:25:10 and the freedom that those rebels had 00:25:12 with shooting people—even Batista’s people. 00:25:15 They didn’t give it a second thought. 00:25:19 I had just got through serving a congregation in the hills, 00:25:22 and we took the local bus 00:25:25 that ran around that area. 00:25:27 And on the highway, 00:25:28 two soldiers stopped the bus 00:25:30 and ordered all the men to get off. 00:25:33 They started looking at each of us one by one, 00:25:36 sending everybody back on the bus. 00:25:38 They looked at me and said: “You! Stay there!” 00:25:40 They pointed a rifle at me and said, “Who are you?” 00:25:43 And I explained myself, 00:25:45 but they kept pointing the rifle. 00:25:47 One of the soldiers said to the driver, “Take off!” 00:25:51 That’s when you pray hard, 00:25:54 and you remember the scripture at Proverbs 29:25: 00:25:57 “Trembling at men is a snare, 00:26:01 but the one trusting in Jehovah will be protected.” 00:26:06 The driver said: “No! He’s a circuit overseer! 00:26:10 He rides with me all the time.” 00:26:11 And he really defended me and made me believe 00:26:15 that Jehovah’s angels intervened. 00:26:18 And that’s why I say that I am a slave to prayer. 00:26:22 It’s the most important thing in my life. 00:26:27 When I came back to the United States, 00:26:29 I was being used 00:26:31 by the Service Department in the full-time work. 00:26:34 A few years later, 00:26:36 I had to give up the full-time work 00:26:38 and take care of my family. 00:26:41 The adjustment I had to make 00:26:43 to be a family man was hard 00:26:45 because most of my life was occupied in full-time service. 00:26:50 But I had to leave matters 00:26:52 in Jehovah’s hands. 00:26:55 We started the prison ministry 00:26:58 around May of 1974. 00:27:00 It gives you a measure of satisfaction 00:27:02 in seeing how the Bible 00:27:06 has a very strong influence 00:27:08 on individuals —to see criminals 00:27:11 turn their life completely around. 00:27:13 The Bible changes lives, 00:27:16 and that’s why pioneering has always been in my heart. 00:27:20 And so after my wife died, 00:27:23 I felt that the proper thing to do 00:27:26 was to get back into the full-time service. 00:27:28 As a result of that, 00:27:30 I started pioneering again in 1998. 00:27:35 Jehovah God has been good to me, and at my age of 96, 00:27:39 I thank Jehovah every day 00:27:41 for the health and strength that he permits me to enjoy 00:27:44 —and I keep on going. 00:27:50 Did you notice that it was prayer 00:27:53 that helped Brother Johnson and his family 00:27:55 to face a variety of changing circumstances? 00:27:58 He continues to display the same spirit 00:28:01 at nearly 98 years of age. 00:28:06 Are you married to someone who doesn’t serve Jehovah 00:28:09 or is even opposed to the truth? 00:28:12 You’ll appreciate the experience of Alexandru and Dorina Văcar. 00:28:24 I started to study the Bible in 1993. 00:28:28 At that time, I was 43 years old. 00:28:30 I was married for 19 years, and I had two children. 00:28:35 At that time, I didn’t know if I would become 00:28:37 one of Jehovah’s Witnesses or not. 00:28:40 But I accepted a Bible study. 00:28:44 At my husband’s request, I started studying the Bible at the same time, 00:28:48 but I only studied for about a year. 00:28:51 Then I decided, ‘I’m going to stop.’ 00:28:55 I asked him to stop studying too. 00:28:58 I told him: “Let’s stop studying. 00:29:00 “This is not for us. 00:29:01 We don’t understand it.” 00:29:04 But in a very diplomatic and calm way, 00:29:07 he said he would continue. 00:29:11 When I realized he would continue studying, I said to myself: 00:29:14 ‘Well, all right then. 00:29:16 ‘Just you wait and see. 00:29:17 ‘If you really want to continue, I will somehow make you stop studying 00:29:22 (in a subtle way), but I will do it.’ 00:29:25 Just seeing him get ready to go in field service annoyed me so much. 00:29:29 I started burying him with household chores, 00:29:33 asking him to help me more and more around the house. 00:29:38 But calmly and gently every time, 00:29:41 he would ask me if he could prepare for meetings. 00:29:46 And one time when he asked me if he could prepare for the meeting, 00:29:50 yet again I got irritated and said: 00:29:53 “You’re not going to prepare now. 00:29:55 We’re going to clean the whole apartment thoroughly.” 00:29:59 After we were finally finished at midnight, 00:30:02 he asked me very calmly 00:30:04 if there was anything else he could help me with. 00:30:09 It was not easy for him to deal with my efforts 00:30:12 to force him to stop studying. 00:30:14 And after he got baptized, 00:30:16 I tried even harder. 00:30:18 But he never retaliated; he stayed calm and endured it. 00:30:25 In this period, I was trying to understand her reactions. 00:30:31 But it wasn’t easy for me. 00:30:37 Hearing her criticisms, those harsh replies, I thought sometimes: 00:30:41 ‘I think I’ll just give up. 00:30:43 It makes no sense to go on like this.’ 00:30:48 I said to the brother who was studying with me about this, 00:30:52 “I want to stop.” 00:30:55 And he encouraged me. 00:30:57 He said: “No, no, no, don’t stop. 00:30:59 “Don’t quit. 00:31:01 “Continue, continue. 00:31:02 Probably your wife will follow you.” 00:31:06 These conversations always encouraged me, 00:31:09 and when we finished our study, 00:31:11 I would see things from a different perspective. 00:31:15 I always loved my wife, 00:31:17 and I wanted her to be by my side. 00:31:23 During this period, he often told me how much he loved me 00:31:28 —many times, yes, very often. 00:31:30 And sometimes he would ask me if I loved him too. 00:31:34 There were times when I would answer him, 00:31:36 and there were times when I just smiled and said nothing. 00:31:42 And I even thought, ‘Hey, this guy really cares about me.’ 00:31:48 I was impressed by his kindness. 00:31:50 I was very impressed. 00:31:53 Many times, I was musing: ‘Well, as a man, he could hit me. 00:31:56 He could be demanding, “You will sit down,”’ you know. 00:32:00 But no, he never did that. 00:32:03 He never raised his voice, never spoke a mean word 00:32:06 —never. 00:32:08 When she saw that I did not retaliate 00:32:11 —as in I would not reply harshly and I would not talk badly to her— 00:32:15 then eventually 00:32:17 she would calm down. 00:32:19 In his calm and mild way, he began inviting me to the meetings. 00:32:24 He kept on inviting me, and sometimes I was willing to accept. 00:32:28 Slowly, I started to attend the meetings. 00:32:31 I was happy. 00:32:33 I was very happy when she said she wanted to resume her study. 00:32:39 In August 2006, 00:32:42 I started studying the Bible again. 00:32:45 And in March 2007, I became an unbaptized publisher. 00:32:49 And in July 2007, I decided to get baptized. 00:32:56 I served in the Baptism Department, 00:33:00 and I had the privilege 00:33:06 to personally baptize my dear wife. 00:33:25 First Corinthians 13:4 says 00:33:28 that “love is patient and kind.” 00:33:31 Patience means, 00:33:33 first of all, being patient for months, 00:33:36 years, or maybe even decades. 00:33:40 Never give up. 00:33:42 Never consider someone as a lost cause. 00:33:51 Even though Alexandru and Dorina’s marriage 00:33:53 was far from ideal for a long time, 00:33:56 Alexandru didn’t lose his patience. 00:33:59 He was calm and loving. 00:34:02 That promoted peace, and eventually 00:34:04 it moved Dorina to embrace the truth. 00:34:07 If you have an unbelieving mate, 00:34:10 remember Alexandru’s example 00:34:12 and, as he said, “Never give up.” 00:34:17 Ecclesiastes 4:12 speaks of “a threefold cord” 00:34:22 that “cannot quickly be torn apart.” 00:34:25 That’s often applied to Christian marriage. 00:34:28 But what does that “threefold cord” mean, 00:34:32 and how does it make a marriage successful? 00:34:35 We’ll learn the answers in our next segment. 00:34:57 It was summertime, and a group 00:35:00 of brothers and sisters made arrangements 00:35:03 during vacation time to go to the beach. 00:35:05 And so during that time, 00:35:08 heading to the beach is where I met her. 00:35:11 I had met her sisters, but I had not met her. 00:35:15 My grandparents and my aunt 00:35:17 were a very important part 00:35:18 in raising me and my sisters. 00:35:21 They learned the truth first, in Ecuador. 00:35:24 We always lived close by. 00:35:26 I always went to visit them. 00:35:29 And they helped my parents in guiding me into the truth. 00:35:34 The first three or four years of our marriage, 00:35:38 we were about an hour and a half away from our family. 00:35:40 That was really hard on me because I’m close to my sisters. 00:35:44 So it was kind of hard being so far— To me that was really far. 00:35:48 I knew early on that one of the most important things 00:35:52 that I needed in a mate is someone who loves Jehovah. 00:35:55 And they always say— 00:35:57 I remember my parents (and at the meetings) always said, 00:35:59 “Find someone who loves Jehovah more than they love you.” 00:36:02 And it’s easy to say that, 00:36:05 but then you find someone 00:36:07 and you realize that she loves Jehovah more than she loves you. 00:36:10 She has demonstrated it through our entire marriage. 00:36:13 When it comes to Jehovah, he’s first. 00:36:15 I think that is the key to a successful marriage. 00:36:20 I think the biggest challenge we went through in our marriage 00:36:22 was our first year in the circuit work. 00:36:25 It was hard enough moving 3,000 miles away from everyone 00:36:28 and starting a new type of life. 00:36:30 Two months later, my grandfather dies; 00:36:32 six months right after that, my mother dies. 00:36:34 So after her mom died, my mom passed away. 00:36:38 It was one right after the other. 00:36:43 That was a difficult time for us 00:36:48 —all the pain and suffering 00:36:50 from losing our moms and loved ones. 00:36:54 Many times we felt that we could not continue. 00:36:59 It was overwhelming. 00:37:04 The period of time was eight months 00:37:07 and ten days between the death of Mimi’s mom and my mom. 00:37:20 The threefold cord is a routine in which Jehovah is included 00:37:24 in the marriage 00:37:25 —from reading the Bible together, 00:37:27 to going in the ministry together, 00:37:29 to doing everyday things together. 00:37:33 And as you do this, Jehovah is present in your marriage. 00:37:38 We always think that it’s our Bible reading. 00:37:40 Actually, we don’t think—we realize 00:37:42 that our Bible reading is very important for us. 00:37:45 We pick a book; we start reading it, and we know 00:37:47 that is what keeps us together. 00:37:52 We were both already pioneering before we got married. 00:37:54 And when we got married, 00:37:56 we just figured out a way to continue pioneering together 00:38:01 to make sure to start our spiritual careers together. 00:38:05 So we have to always depend on Jehovah, 00:38:08 which is the best Person to always depend on. 00:38:10 We spent a lot of time by ourselves, 00:38:13 driving from city to city and from state to state. 00:38:17 We had plenty of time to reflect, to talk, 00:38:20 and to draw close to each other 00:38:22 —to not only rely on Jehovah but also to be closer between us 00:38:27 and to spend more time 00:38:30 talking about the visits, 00:38:32 talking about the friends, and talking about how we feel. 00:38:36 I think that at the end it was the toughest assignment, 00:38:39 but it was the most rewarding 00:38:42 of all the assignments we had had 00:38:44 in all these years in the traveling work. 00:38:46 Because it’s the three of us and Jehovah’s an equal part of our marriage, 00:38:50 it doesn’t matter what we go through 00:38:52 —whether it’s Peter or I that’s having a little bit of a struggle— 00:38:56 because Jehovah is there. 00:38:57 He’s going to keep us united and strong. 00:39:00 And also, it’s not just in the things we do while we worship. 00:39:04 Yes, we worship together, 00:39:06 but it’s also all the other things that we do Jehovah’s way. 00:39:10 We’re best friends, and we enjoy spending time together 00:39:13 outside of service and the meetings. 00:39:16 We like doing fun things outside. We like the outdoors. 00:39:21 When we’re facing a difficult challenge, we will go to Jehovah in prayer together 00:39:25 and specifically pray, “Jehovah, help us with this challenge.” 00:39:29 Our assignments have helped us 00:39:32 to always be with each other because we have the same goals in mind. 00:39:35 We’re working together 00:39:36 for the same purpose. 00:39:38 So the same schedule —spiritual schedule— 00:39:42 has really helped us to go through these challenging periods in our life. 00:39:46 Knowing that Jehovah is our Creator, the Sovereign Being 00:39:51 —he’s the one who should tell us what to do. 00:39:54 And there is an arrangement, and when you follow his arrangement, 00:39:57 there’s happiness; there’s success. 00:40:01 We’re in an imperfect world, 00:40:03 but his arrangement works, and we have felt it. 00:40:15 When husbands and wives are united with Jehovah, 00:40:18 their marriage is as strong as that threefold cord. 00:40:23 The Bible uses another term to describe the unity of husband and wife: 00:40:27 “They . . . become one flesh.” 00:40:31 This was the topic of a Morning Worship program 00:40:33 presented by Brother Robert Ciranko. 00:40:37 Genesis 2:24 says of a man and a woman 00:40:40 who marry that they are 00:40:41 to “become one flesh.” 00:40:43 Now, that raises some questions: 00:40:46 Whose words are those? 00:40:48 What do they mean? 00:40:50 How can we show that we believe them? 00:40:52 And is there a good example in the Bible of a couple who did? 00:40:56 Let’s start with looking at the context. 00:40:59 If you’d open your Bibles, please, to Genesis chapter 2, 00:41:02 and we’ll start with verse 18—Genesis 2. 00:41:06 It reports: “Then Jehovah God said: 00:41:09 “‘It is not good for the man to continue to be alone. 00:41:12 I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.’” 00:41:16 Continuing in verse 21: 00:41:19 “So Jehovah God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, 00:41:24 “he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. 00:41:28 “And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, 00:41:32 “and he brought her to the man. 00:41:34 “Then the man said: 00:41:35 “‘This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 00:41:40 “This one will be called Woman, because from man she was taken.’ 00:41:46 “That is why a man will leave his father and his mother 00:41:49 and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” 00:41:53 So our first question is, Whose words are these? 00:41:57 Adam’s? 00:41:59 No. 00:42:00 The only words attributed to Adam are when he waxed poetic in verse 23. 00:42:05 And you can see that from the opening and closing quotation marks in that verse. 00:42:09 Well, then it must have been Moses’ words because, 00:42:11 after all, he wrote the Bible book of Genesis. 00:42:14 No. 00:42:15 He was not present at the time of the first marriage. 00:42:18 He did not start writing until some 2,500 years later, 00:42:23 and even then, he was writing what he was inspired to write. 00:42:27 Three Bible writers use this expression, “one flesh” 00:42:32 —Matthew, Mark, and Paul. 00:42:34 And it’s Matthew who gives us the clue as to whose words they are. 00:42:38 So let’s turn to Matthew chapter 19, 00:42:41 Matthew 19 00:42:45 beginning with verse 4. 00:42:49 And here Matthew writes and quotes Jesus; 00:42:54 it says: “In reply he [Jesus] said: 00:42:57 “‘Have you not read that the one who created them 00:43:01 “‘from the beginning made them male and female and said: 00:43:05 “‘“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother 00:43:09 “‘and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh”? 00:43:13 “‘So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. 00:43:16 Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.’” 00:43:21 So Matthew makes it clear that Jehovah said those words. 00:43:25 And shouldn’t that elevate in everyone’s mind 00:43:28 the sanctity of the marital union? 00:43:32 As Jesus said, ‘God created male and female’ —two complementary genders— 00:43:37 and he ‘yoked them together in marriage as one flesh.’ 00:43:40 Now, it’s interesting what The Bible Exposition Commentary 00:43:44 says about this: “God established marriage, 00:43:47 “and therefore only God can control its character . . . 00:43:50 “It is a union between one man and one woman. 00:43:54 “God did not create two men and one woman, 00:43:57 “two women and one man, two men, or two women. 00:44:02 “‘Group marriages,’ ‘gay marriages,’ 00:44:04 “and other variations are contrary to the will of God, 00:44:07 no matter what some psychologists and jurists may say.” 00:44:10 “No court of law can change what God has established.” 00:44:14 And those are comments we can agree with. 00:44:17 Now, our second question is, What do these words mean: “They will become one flesh”? 00:44:22 Well, of course, the one-flesh relationship certainly involves sexual union, 00:44:27 but it goes beyond that because it includes a husband and wife 00:44:32 who have achieved mental, emotional, and spiritual harmony. 00:44:37 They are to have a oneness in their purpose and desires. 00:44:42 As Bible translator William Barclay renders it at Matthew 19:5: 00:44:46 “The husband will be joined inseparably to his wife.” 00:44:50 So in marriage, a man and a woman 00:44:52 are to become each other’s closest partner in life. 00:44:57 Being “one flesh” means that they must always 00:45:00 be thinking more of each other than of themselves, 00:45:03 that they must consider each other in everything they do. 00:45:06 So when single people marry, they need to shift 00:45:09 their thinking from mine to ours, 00:45:12 from me to we. 00:45:14 And so they must stop being single at heart 00:45:18 and come to be married at heart, not just on paper. 00:45:21 Now, our third question is, 00:45:23 How can we show that we believe these words? 00:45:25 Well, sad to say, many people these days 00:45:28 take a very casual attitude toward marriage, 00:45:30 and when the relationship becomes strained, 00:45:32 they just give up and walk out on their mate. 00:45:35 But that is not the Christian way. 00:45:38 Marriage is to be a lifelong relationship. 00:45:41 Just a few verses later on at Matthew 19:9, 00:45:44 Jesus taught that the only Scriptural ground for dissolving marriage 00:45:48 is when an innocent mate 00:45:50 chooses not to forgive an adulterous partner. 00:45:53 And that is because sexual relations outside the marriage bond 00:45:57 are a gross perversion of the one-flesh union. 00:46:02 Now, let’s read Paul’s words about this 00:46:04 at 1 Corinthians chapter 6 00:46:07 —1 Corinthians 6:16; 00:46:13 he said: “Do you not know that anyone who is joined to a prostitute 00:46:17 “is one body with her? 00:46:19 For ‘the two,’ says he, ‘will be one flesh.’” 00:46:23 So the adulterer pulls away from his marriage mate 00:46:27 and makes himself one flesh with a third person. 00:46:31 That, then, is the only Scriptural basis for divorce. 00:46:34 But divorce is a very painful experience. 00:46:37 As one sociologist put it, “Divorce is drastic surgery.” 00:46:41 To sever the one-flesh bond between husband and wife 00:46:46 would be like sawing oneself asunder. 00:46:49 What, though, if no adultery has been committed? 00:46:52 What if, for some reason, two people who are married to each other 00:46:55 just don’t like each other any longer? 00:46:57 Divorce is not an option. 00:46:59 Instead, they need to remind themselves of what attracted them to each other 00:47:03 and work at rekindling those feelings, 00:47:06 while at the same time looking to Jehovah for help 00:47:09 in not only strengthening their marriage 00:47:11 but also their spirituality. 00:47:14 Our fourth question is, 00:47:16 What Scriptural example is there of a married couple 00:47:19 who believed this one-flesh idea? 00:47:23 Turn to Romans 16:3, please, 00:47:27 Romans 16:3; here Paul writes: 00:47:31 “Give my greetings to Prisca [or Priscilla] and Aquila, 00:47:36 my fellow workers in Christ Jesus.” 00:47:39 So, yes, Aquila and Priscilla —what a model of a close and united couple 00:47:44 living up to what Jehovah meant when he said that a husband or wife 00:47:47 should become one flesh! 00:47:49 And Paul, who worked closely with them, 00:47:51 could not think of that dear brother 00:47:53 without recalling the faithful cooperation of his wife. 00:47:57 So it’s a fine example for Christian couples today. 00:48:00 And in every one of the six references to this couple 00:48:03 in the Christian Greek Scriptures, we find them working together, 00:48:07 cooperating without competition or strife. 00:48:10 And never is one mentioned without the other. 00:48:13 They constantly worked together in their home, 00:48:16 in their secular work, in the ministry. 00:48:19 And surely it was the time spent together in Christian activities 00:48:22 that kept their marriage on a high spiritual plane, 00:48:26 working side by side to further the Kingdom work. 00:48:29 Now, you and your marriage mate may be apart 00:48:32 for much of the day due to different work and responsibilities. 00:48:35 But can you find time each day to eat meals together, 00:48:40 to do household chores together, to take walks together, 00:48:44 to be together to get caught up 00:48:46 on what has gone on in your lives during the day? 00:48:49 Aquila and Priscilla proved that being united 00:48:52 in activities related to true worship 00:48:54 can keep a couple’s thinking and goals aligned, 00:48:57 and that does strengthen a marriage. 00:49:00 For example, studying together, 00:49:03 participating in congregation meetings together, 00:49:06 sharing in the ministry together, praying together, 00:49:09 in doing all of that, 00:49:11 a person’s interests, priorities, and habits 00:49:15 will harmonize with those of one’s spouse until, 00:49:20 like Aquila and Priscilla, 00:49:22 we increasingly think, feel, 00:49:25 and act as one flesh. 00:49:28 So now we know who said the words. 00:49:30 It was Jehovah. 00:49:31 We understand what they mean —achieving harmony 00:49:34 in one’s relationship with one’s mate. 00:49:37 And we can certainly prove that we believe these words 00:49:40 by staying close to our mate and maintaining our marriage bond. 00:49:45 And then we have that excellent example of Aquila and Priscilla to abide by. 00:49:51 “One flesh,” “a threefold cord” 00:49:55 —when a husband and wife apply Bible principles, 00:49:58 their marriage endures and is successful. 00:50:01 And we’ll see that in our new music video. 00:50:28 You’re the one, The only one for me. 00:50:37 You’re my love, My one and only. 00:50:48 Your qualities, your faith— They bring me such delight. 00:50:59 And with God’s help, I know our future’s bright. 00:51:11 It fills my heart with love To know you stand by me. 00:51:21 I feel your deep respect; I know you’re proud of me. 00:51:31 Together we can be strong; Together’s where we belong. 00:51:41 Jehovah helps us stay more in love each day— My only one. 00:52:36 You’re the one for me; You listen to my thoughts. 00:52:46 And as a team, We work hard for our God. 00:52:57 Yes, in my heart I feel You cherish me, my love. 00:53:07 You’ll always be the one— The one I’m so proud of. 00:53:19 Together we can be strong; Together’s where we belong. 00:53:28 Jehovah helps us stay more in love each day— My only one. 00:53:38 Together we can be strong; Together’s where we belong. 00:53:49 Jehovah helps us stay more in love each day— My only one, 00:54:01 My only one, My love. 00:54:13 The theme of this month’s program was 00:54:16 “Show Love and Respect in Your Marriage.” 00:54:19 Sarah’s example shows wives 00:54:22 how to give their husbands suggestions 00:54:24 and husbands how to show 00:54:26 appreciation for their wives. 00:54:29 We learned the importance of prayer when we face changing circumstances. 00:54:35 And Alexandru’s love and patience 00:54:36 helped his wife serve Jehovah. 00:54:39 By integrating Jehovah into their marriage, 00:54:42 couples can overcome challenges and serve Jehovah together. 00:54:47 Now let’s enjoy our video postcard. 00:54:49 This month we visit our brothers and sisters in Guyana. 00:54:54 This country of more than 750,000 people 00:54:58 is in the northeastern corner of South America. 00:55:01 This is a land of lush rain forests, 00:55:05 sugarcane plantations, and open grasslands. 00:55:09 Temperatures and humidity are high, and the rainfall is heavy. 00:55:14 In fact, Guyana means “land of water.” 00:55:18 These brothers are with the congregation in Charity, 00:55:21 a part of Guyana known for extensive preaching done along the river. 00:55:25 More than half of Guyana’s population is rural, 00:55:28 and most people live in villages in the coastal region. 00:55:32 This is Baramita, a Carib-language-speaking community 00:55:35 known for gold mining. 00:55:37 The congregation’s 119 publishers 00:55:40 conduct an average of 228 Bible studies every month. 00:55:46 Baramita is also home to a remote translation office. 00:55:51 Many people live scattered throughout the surrounding dense jungle. 00:55:54 And reaching them requires hours and hours of walking. 00:55:59 Because the rainy season is over half of the year, 00:56:02 travel can be very difficult. 00:56:04 But our brothers and sisters —they’re not deterred by the terrain. 00:56:08 Now, these are typical dwellings of the Carib community in Baramita. 00:56:12 And, our brothers —they preach to everyone they encounter, 00:56:16 from cassava farmers to gold miners. 00:56:20 Our brothers and sisters in the Baramita Congregation 00:56:23 send you their warm love and greetings. 00:56:27 From the World Headquarters of Jehovah’s Witnesses, 00:56:29 this is JW Broadcasting.
00:00:01 Welcome! 00:00:03 This month’s program will help us show love and respect in marriage. 00:00:07 Here are a few highlights. 00:00:09 Is your marriage strained 00:00:12 because your spouse opposes the truth? 00:00:14 We’ll see how Alexandru’s love and patience 00:00:18 promoted peace in his marriage 00:00:20 and ultimately moved his wife, Dorina, to serve Jehovah. 00:00:24 We’ll learn how Claudius Johnson dealt with changing circumstances. 00:00:29 And our new original song reminds us of the joys of marriage 00:00:33 based on Bible principles. 00:00:37 This is JW Broadcasting® for March 2021! 00:00:59 Jehovah designed marriage 00:01:01 as a beautiful and rewarding relationship 00:01:04 between a husband and a wife. 00:01:06 When a husband and wife 00:01:07 fulfill their God-given roles 00:01:09 and they treat each other 00:01:10 with love and respect, 00:01:12 their marriage is a wonderful and intimate friendship. 00:01:16 A marriage that has good patterns 00:01:18 shaped by Jehovah’s principles 00:01:20 looks like this well-balanced family circle. 00:01:25 But if a married couple over time 00:01:27 has set bad patterns in how they deal with each other, 00:01:30 this is often the result. 00:01:32 Life is going to be a bit rough for them. 00:01:35 Let’s consider what Jehovah says 00:01:38 about the roles of husband and wife 00:01:40 and then discuss how love and respect 00:01:43 are real keys to a happy marriage. 00:01:46 So, what roles did Jehovah give 00:01:48 to the man and woman in marriage? 00:01:51 Well, Jehovah places the husband as head of the family. 00:01:55 Ephesians 5:23 says: 00:01:58 “A husband is head of his wife.” 00:02:01 So that means that the husband makes final decisions for the family. 00:02:05 And his decisions will reflect his love for his wife, 00:02:08 his children, and his understanding of their spiritual, 00:02:11 physical, and emotional needs. 00:02:14 At 1 Corinthians 11:3, 00:02:17 we get a sense, though, of how Jehovah feels about the husband’s role. 00:02:22 And as we read this together, I want you to imagine 00:02:24 Jehovah saying to husbands: ‘Yes, you’re head of the family.’ 00:02:28 “But I want you to know that the head 00:02:32 “of every man is the Christ; 00:02:34 in turn, the head of a woman is the man.” 00:02:38 Sounds a lot like a father-in-law speaking to the groom: 00:02:41 “You can marry my daughter, 00:02:43 but you’d better treat her good because you’re responsible to me.” 00:02:48 Well, Jehovah is giving a very clear message for husbands. 00:02:51 Jehovah will hold you accountable to him 00:02:55 for how you treat your wife. 00:02:57 It’s something for us husbands to think about, isn’t it? 00:03:01 Well, what about the role of a wife? 00:03:04 Jehovah assigned wives as a beloved partner to her husband. 00:03:08 And as partners, they can discuss important family matters 00:03:11 and work together to make their marriage a success. 00:03:15 Jehovah placed the woman under the headship of the man, 00:03:18 and as such, her role is to be in subjection to him. 00:03:23 At Ephesians 5:22, 00:03:26 it says: “Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord.” 00:03:32 Subjection —said a certain way, it almost sounds bad: 00:03:36 “You have to be in subjection!” 00:03:38 But is the subjection of a Christian wife to a Christian husband a bad thing? 00:03:43 No. 00:03:45 See, subjection as described in the Bible 00:03:47 is not about being subservient; 00:03:50 it’s about her role in the marriage. 00:03:53 You’re partners, each with a beautiful role to fulfill. 00:03:57 We could illustrate it with watching a couple ice skating. 00:04:01 As they move gracefully across the ice, do you think to yourself, 00:04:05 ‘How come they never let her hold him over her head?’ 00:04:09 Well, no. 00:04:11 You look at him; you look at her. 00:04:13 It’s obvious who should hold who over their head. 00:04:17 Well, just as we admire and respect a woman’s role as an ice skating partner, 00:04:21 a husband deeply loves and appreciates 00:04:24 his wife’s role as his partner 00:04:26 as they work gracefully together to make their marriage a success. 00:04:31 Well, now that we’ve briefly reviewed the roles for husbands and wives, 00:04:35 let’s read together a key Scriptural principle 00:04:39 at Ephesians 5:33 00:04:42 that shows how Jehovah wants husbands and wives 00:04:46 to fulfill their roles in marriage. 00:04:49 Ephesians 5:33: 00:04:53 “Each one of you must love his wife as he does himself; 00:04:58 on the other hand, the wife should have deep respect for her husband.” 00:05:03 Well, the obvious message in this scripture 00:05:06 is that husbands should love their wives 00:05:09 and wives should respect their husbands. 00:05:12 However, there’s another way to look at this scripture 00:05:15 and learn something about husbands and wives. 00:05:18 Jehovah God is telling us what each mate needs. 00:05:22 Men need respect, and women need love. 00:05:26 Now, this is not to say that men don’t need love 00:05:30 and women don’t need to be respected. 00:05:32 However, it does mean that men 00:05:35 tend to emphasize respect and status 00:05:38 and women often emphasize 00:05:40 intimacy, connection, and love. 00:05:44 This perfect principle can help us to understand 00:05:47 why our husband or wife may act or feel a certain way. 00:05:52 Now, this difference in emphasis affects many areas of married life. 00:05:57 Let’s consider three examples 00:06:00 of how this powerful Scriptural principle of love and respect 00:06:05 can give us insight into how a husband and wife 00:06:09 talk to each other, 00:06:11 how they solve problems, 00:06:12 and how they act in the company of others. 00:06:15 Let’s consider our first example: 00:06:17 how they talk to each other. 00:06:19 Now, since a wife’s emphasis 00:06:21 is on being loved, 00:06:23 her conversations often stress friendship 00:06:27 and connection when she talks to her husband. 00:06:29 She’s eager to share the details of her life with him 00:06:32 and in this way become closer to him. 00:06:35 She wants him, in turn, to share with her the details of his day and life. 00:06:40 Husbands, your wife 00:06:43 feels loved when you learn to communicate with her 00:06:46 in a way that tells her you truly care about her. 00:06:51 She places great emphasis on conversation and sharing her life with you 00:06:55 and likewise you sharing your life with her. 00:06:59 For example, a wife 00:07:02 tells her husband about something 00:07:04 that happened to her that day. 00:07:06 He grows impatient with the story and interrupts 00:07:09 or changes the subject or offers a quick solution. 00:07:12 How does she feel? 00:07:15 ‘Why can’t he listen to the whole story? 00:07:18 Has he lost interest in me?’ 00:07:21 It’s important that husbands give their wives 00:07:24 their full attention as they speak. 00:07:26 After a long day at work, 00:07:28 his mind may be focused on events that happened to him that day. 00:07:32 And he may without realizing it 00:07:35 feel that the events or conversation of his wife 00:07:38 aren’t on important subjects. 00:07:41 So he may be inclined to play down the events in her life 00:07:44 as unimportant, or trivial, 00:07:46 while events he talks about are substantial and important 00:07:50 because they happened to him. 00:07:52 Well, such a feeling over time can truly discourage a wife. 00:07:56 A husband’s disinterest in her stories 00:07:59 and events of her life feels a lot like disinterest in her. 00:08:05 The advice of Proverbs 20:5 is good for husbands. 00:08:10 It says: “The thoughts of a man’s [or we could say in this case, woman’s] heart 00:08:15 “are like deep waters, 00:08:18 but the discerning man draws them out.” 00:08:21 That’s great advice for husbands. 00:08:25 Husbands, when you draw 00:08:26 your wife out, let her speak from her heart. 00:08:29 That’s an indication of great love 00:08:32 and affection for your dear wife. 00:08:35 Men, on the other hand, often view conversation differently. 00:08:39 A husband comes home, and his wife asks, “How was your day?” 00:08:42 He says: “It was OK. Nothing special.” 00:08:45 But later that night when they’re with a group of friends, 00:08:49 he tells a story about what happened at work. 00:08:51 And she wonders, 00:08:53 ‘Well, why didn’t he tell me that when I asked about his day?’ 00:08:57 Well, since a man’s emphasis is on respect, 00:09:01 they often use conversation 00:09:03 to establish respect and status with others. 00:09:06 A husband may feel that his wife already respects him, 00:09:10 so there’s no need to tell her the story. 00:09:14 Wives, you can encourage your husband to share his life with you 00:09:17 by being interested in his work and activities. 00:09:20 If you tell him, “Don’t talk to me 00:09:22 about all that work stuff with me,” he won’t 00:09:25 and you’ll cut yourself off from a part of his life. 00:09:29 Show him that you’re proud of what he does to support the family. 00:09:33 Be interested in what happened to him, 00:09:35 how he feels about things, or challenges that he overcame. 00:09:38 While you may not find his work all that interesting, 00:09:41 remember, it is important to him. 00:09:46 Let’s consider our second example: 00:09:48 how they solve problems. 00:09:51 Now I want you to imagine a husband and wife. 00:09:53 They’re in a car, they’re looking for an address, 00:09:55 and they’re lost. 00:09:57 And the wife suggests that they ask someone for directions. 00:10:01 She’s thinking, ‘Why won’t he ask?’ 00:10:04 He’s thinking, ‘Why can’t she just let me find it?’ 00:10:09 You see, since the man’s emphasis is on respect, 00:10:13 he’s trying to avoid looking lost to a stranger. 00:10:16 The act of asking someone else for directions 00:10:20 may make him feel like he’s in a lower position. 00:10:23 Finding their way is a challenge to him, 00:10:26 and he wants to show his wife that he can find it on his own. 00:10:30 For the woman, such an idea may not come to mind. 00:10:33 She may view it as a simple interchange between them and a stranger. 00:10:37 They get help and directions, and they find out where they’re going. 00:10:41 At 1 Corinthians 7:33, Jehovah tells us: 00:10:46 “But the married man is anxious . . . , 00:10:48 how he may gain the approval of his wife.” 00:10:52 Wives, your husband is anxious to have your approval and respect. 00:10:57 But on balance, husbands have to be careful 00:11:00 that an emphasis on respect doesn’t become unreasonable. 00:11:03 It won’t hurt us to ask for directions or help at times. 00:11:08 On the other hand, a wife needs to be careful 00:11:10 that she doesn’t show impatience by her words or tone 00:11:14 as her husband works his way through a problem. 00:11:18 A wife who clearly understands her husband’s desire 00:11:21 to solve problems for the family 00:11:23 will understand his actions and will do her part to support him, 00:11:27 even in the little things around the home. 00:11:30 Now, this support in the little areas of life 00:11:33 builds his confidence in her support 00:11:36 and can be a major factor 00:11:38 in whether a husband takes the lead in larger matters. 00:11:42 Our third and final example: 00:11:44 how they act in front of others. 00:11:48 Have you ever seen a couple where one of them is telling a story 00:11:52 and the other is constantly correcting the details? 00:11:56 or the husband is trying to give some direction 00:11:59 and the wife corrects or challenges the direction? 00:12:02 or the husband is telling others some unflattering story 00:12:06 that hurts his wife’s feelings? 00:12:09 How can Ephesians 5:33 00:12:12 help a wife in these situations? 00:12:15 Well, since a husband’s emphasis is on respect, 00:12:18 he’ll be much more sensitive 00:12:21 to comments his wife may make in front of others. 00:12:24 It can hurt a husband deeply 00:12:27 when his wife openly challenges him in front of others. 00:12:31 Proverbs 31:12 00:12:35 has this advice for wives: 00:12:37 “She rewards him with good, not bad, 00:12:41 all the days of her life.” 00:12:44 So when in public or when others are around 00:12:47 —even close family and children— 00:12:49 try not to openly disagree with him, correct him, 00:12:52 or attempt to take over what he’s doing. 00:12:55 How you speak to your husband in front of others 00:12:58 is a great way to show your deep respect for him. 00:13:02 It also builds respect for him in others, including any children in the family. 00:13:09 Well, how can Ephesians 5:33 00:13:11 help a husband act in front of others? 00:13:15 Well, when in public, husbands will want to act 00:13:18 like the husband at Proverbs 31:28. 00:13:22 It says: “Her husband rises up and praises her.” 00:13:28 It’s common today for husbands to make fun of 00:13:31 or even say demeaning things about their wives. 00:13:34 But since a wife places so much emphasis 00:13:37 on connection and friendship, 00:13:39 she can really be hurt when demeaning remarks are said 00:13:42 to get a laugh; it makes her feel awful. 00:13:46 Husbands, your wife considers you her best friend, 00:13:49 the one she shares everything with. 00:13:51 If you break that trust, she feels unloved and hurt. 00:13:58 Now, the best time to bring matters to each other’s attention 00:14:00 is when you’re in private or, if needed, when you can talk in such a way 00:14:04 that others cannot hear what’s being said. 00:14:08 In this way, a wife shows deep respect for her husband 00:14:12 and the husband shows his love for his wife. 00:14:17 So in review, we’ve considered just three situations 00:14:21 that the principle of love and respect 00:14:24 can help us to have a successful marriage: 00:14:27 how a husband and wife talk to each other, 00:14:30 how they solve problems, 00:14:32 and how they act in the company of others. 00:14:36 A good marriage is hard work. 00:14:38 How is your marriage? 00:14:40 Would you say that you’ve developed good patterns 00:14:44 or bad patterns in dealing with each other? 00:14:47 When was the last time you talked as a couple 00:14:50 about love and respect for each other? 00:14:54 Jehovah’s perfect advice at Ephesians 5:33 00:14:58 can help the marriage of two imperfect people. 00:15:02 In just a few words in this verse, 00:15:05 Jehovah is sharing with us a key principle 00:15:07 of how he designed marriage. 00:15:09 He’s telling us what each needs and places emphasis on. 00:15:14 Husbands put emphasis on being respected, 00:15:18 and wives put emphasis on being loved. 00:15:21 And this principle forms a key part 00:15:24 of the divine pattern for marriage. 00:15:27 If you want your marriage to operate as Jehovah designed, 00:15:32 then work hard to apply his perfect principle 00:15:37 of love and respect in your marriage. 00:15:43 Why can we be confident 00:15:45 that Bible principles for husbands and wives work? 00:15:49 Because they’ve worked for Jehovah’s people in the past. 00:15:52 In the following dramatization, 00:15:54 notice what wives and husbands 00:15:56 can learn from the example of Sarah. 00:16:25 Pioneering where the need is greater wasn’t easy. 00:16:34 After a long day in service, I had a part to work on. 00:16:39 Thankfully, Jess took care of everything, 00:16:42 so I could focus on my part. 00:16:44 She’s the best! 00:17:06 Poor thing, she was exhausted. 00:17:10 Good thing we were turning in early. 00:17:17 William and I couldn’t agree on much lately. 00:17:22 We couldn’t afford this! 00:17:26 There had to be something cheaper, 00:17:30 but he wouldn’t listen. 00:17:45 Sometimes, I feel that my husband doesn’t make the best decisions. 00:17:57 I just wish he’d value my suggestions. 00:18:01 Frankly, I’ve given up trying. 00:18:11 “Just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, 00:18:13 calling him lord.” 00:18:15 Hebrews chapter 11 and Isaiah chapter 51 00:18:18 also cite Sarah as a fine example for Christian wives. 00:18:22 But Christian husbands 00:18:24 can also learn much from carefully examining . . . 00:18:28 Hmm. 00:18:29 Sarah’s example: for me. 00:18:47 “Sarah was willing to move to parts unknown 00:19:02 A life fraught with danger and hardship.” 00:19:09 She unselfishly supported Abraham 00:19:11 no matter what 00:19:22 —just like my Jessica. 00:19:31 She does without, never complains 00:19:35 —what a gem! 00:19:39 I can do better letting her know 00:19:42 just how precious she is to me. 00:20:04 Sarah submissively obeyed her husband, 00:20:08 but she also spoke up. 00:20:42 She loved her son, 00:20:44 and she knew what was at stake 00:20:46 —God’s promises through Isaac. 00:20:52 Even though she knew it would upset Abraham, 00:20:58 she spoke up. 00:21:12 She must have thought carefully 00:21:14 before speaking to him. 00:21:17 After all, she called him “lord.” 00:21:22 Jehovah blessed her 00:21:24 for her loyal support of Abraham, 00:21:28 even reminding him to listen to her. 00:21:34 I knew I couldn’t expect Jehovah 00:21:37 to whisper in my husband’s ear. 00:21:41 But did my speech show respect like Sarah’s? 00:21:47 I needed to tell him how I felt, 00:21:50 but I needed to do it the right way. 00:21:55 That night we spoke, 00:21:58 and little by little things started to improve. 00:22:08 Imitating Sarah really worked. 00:22:18 In our next video, we’ll get to know Claudius Johnson. 00:22:23 Even though his wife died over 20 years ago, 00:22:26 I think you’ll see from his interview 00:22:28 that his spiritual qualities and focus on Kingdom interests 00:22:32 enhanced his over four decades of marriage. 00:22:37 Prayer is an important thing. 00:22:39 With everything I do, 00:22:42 I always go to Jehovah in prayer 00:22:44 and ask for his guidance. 00:22:47 I was born on the 26th of March, 1923 00:22:52 in Panama. 00:22:53 I was baptized in August 1946 00:22:57 in Cleveland, Ohio. 00:23:01 I started pioneering 00:23:03 in January of 1947. 00:23:08 There are a couple of scriptures that have been most influential in my life. 00:23:13 One is Psalm 55:22, 00:23:16 which says: “Throw your burden on Jehovah, 00:23:20 “and he will sustain you. 00:23:22 Never will he allow the righteous one to fall.” 00:23:28 One of the most trying experiences of my life 00:23:29 was facing the Selective Service Board. 00:23:33 I registered as was required by law, 00:23:37 and I received the classification of 1-A 00:23:40 —fit for military service. 00:23:42 I then spoke 00:23:45 with the Society’s Legal Department, 00:23:47 and I was instructed to appeal the decision 00:23:49 because I was a regular pioneer. 00:23:52 I had to go to the draft board, 00:23:56 and there I was severely questioned. 00:23:58 One of the problems they had 00:24:01 was that I had a part-time job, 00:24:04 and they felt that 00:24:06 that interfered with my being classified as a full-time minister. 00:24:11 However, because I was conducting 00:24:14 about 12 Bible studies at that time, 00:24:16 I took copies 00:24:18 of all those records and presented them to the board. 00:24:22 The chairman said to me, 00:24:24 “Are you saying that if we were 00:24:26 “to talk to all of these people, they would tell us 00:24:29 that you are conducting Bible studies with them every week?” 00:24:31 And I said, “Yes, Sir.” 00:24:33 While they are deliberating, 00:24:37 I am praying hard, “Jehovah, help them 00:24:39 to make a proper decision.” 00:24:41 In a few days’ time, 00:24:43 the classification card came as 4-D. 00:24:47 I was classified as a Religious Minister, 00:24:52 and I lifted my thoughts to Jehovah and said, “Thank you, Jehovah, very much!” 00:24:57 When I was in the circuit work in Cuba, 00:25:00 I had a few encounters with soldiers. 00:25:03 It’s difficult to understand 00:25:05 the tense atmosphere 00:25:07 that existed back in those days 00:25:10 and the freedom that those rebels had 00:25:12 with shooting people—even Batista’s people. 00:25:15 They didn’t give it a second thought. 00:25:19 I had just got through serving a congregation in the hills, 00:25:22 and we took the local bus 00:25:25 that ran around that area. 00:25:27 And on the highway, 00:25:28 two soldiers stopped the bus 00:25:30 and ordered all the men to get off. 00:25:33 They started looking at each of us one by one, 00:25:36 sending everybody back on the bus. 00:25:38 They looked at me and said: “You! Stay there!” 00:25:40 They pointed a rifle at me and said, “Who are you?” 00:25:43 And I explained myself, 00:25:45 but they kept pointing the rifle. 00:25:47 One of the soldiers said to the driver, “Take off!” 00:25:51 That’s when you pray hard, 00:25:54 and you remember the scripture at Proverbs 29:25: 00:25:57 “Trembling at men is a snare, 00:26:01 but the one trusting in Jehovah will be protected.” 00:26:06 The driver said: “No! He’s a circuit overseer! 00:26:10 He rides with me all the time.” 00:26:11 And he really defended me and made me believe 00:26:15 that Jehovah’s angels intervened. 00:26:18 And that’s why I say that I am a slave to prayer. 00:26:22 It’s the most important thing in my life. 00:26:27 When I came back to the United States, 00:26:29 I was being used 00:26:31 by the Service Department in the full-time work. 00:26:34 A few years later, 00:26:36 I had to give up the full-time work 00:26:38 and take care of my family. 00:26:41 The adjustment I had to make 00:26:43 to be a family man was hard 00:26:45 because most of my life was occupied in full-time service. 00:26:50 But I had to leave matters 00:26:52 in Jehovah’s hands. 00:26:55 We started the prison ministry 00:26:58 around May of 1974. 00:27:00 It gives you a measure of satisfaction 00:27:02 in seeing how the Bible 00:27:06 has a very strong influence 00:27:08 on individuals —to see criminals 00:27:11 turn their life completely around. 00:27:13 The Bible changes lives, 00:27:16 and that’s why pioneering has always been in my heart. 00:27:20 And so after my wife died, 00:27:23 I felt that the proper thing to do 00:27:26 was to get back into the full-time service. 00:27:28 As a result of that, 00:27:30 I started pioneering again in 1998. 00:27:35 Jehovah God has been good to me, and at my age of 96, 00:27:39 I thank Jehovah every day 00:27:41 for the health and strength that he permits me to enjoy 00:27:44 —and I keep on going. 00:27:50 Did you notice that it was prayer 00:27:53 that helped Brother Johnson and his family 00:27:55 to face a variety of changing circumstances? 00:27:58 He continues to display the same spirit 00:28:01 at nearly 98 years of age. 00:28:06 Are you married to someone who doesn’t serve Jehovah 00:28:09 or is even opposed to the truth? 00:28:12 You’ll appreciate the experience of Alexandru and Dorina Văcar. 00:28:24 I started to study the Bible in 1993. 00:28:28 At that time, I was 43 years old. 00:28:30 I was married for 19 years, and I had two children. 00:28:35 At that time, I didn’t know if I would become 00:28:37 one of Jehovah’s Witnesses or not. 00:28:40 But I accepted a Bible study. 00:28:44 At my husband’s request, I started studying the Bible at the same time, 00:28:48 but I only studied for about a year. 00:28:51 Then I decided, ‘I’m going to stop.’ 00:28:55 I asked him to stop studying too. 00:28:58 I told him: “Let’s stop studying. 00:29:00 “This is not for us. 00:29:01 We don’t understand it.” 00:29:04 But in a very diplomatic and calm way, 00:29:07 he said he would continue. 00:29:11 When I realized he would continue studying, I said to myself: 00:29:14 ‘Well, all right then. 00:29:16 ‘Just you wait and see. 00:29:17 ‘If you really want to continue, I will somehow make you stop studying 00:29:22 (in a subtle way), but I will do it.’ 00:29:25 Just seeing him get ready to go in field service annoyed me so much. 00:29:29 I started burying him with household chores, 00:29:33 asking him to help me more and more around the house. 00:29:38 But calmly and gently every time, 00:29:41 he would ask me if he could prepare for meetings. 00:29:46 And one time when he asked me if he could prepare for the meeting, 00:29:50 yet again I got irritated and said: 00:29:53 “You’re not going to prepare now. 00:29:55 We’re going to clean the whole apartment thoroughly.” 00:29:59 After we were finally finished at midnight, 00:30:02 he asked me very calmly 00:30:04 if there was anything else he could help me with. 00:30:09 It was not easy for him to deal with my efforts 00:30:12 to force him to stop studying. 00:30:14 And after he got baptized, 00:30:16 I tried even harder. 00:30:18 But he never retaliated; he stayed calm and endured it. 00:30:25 In this period, I was trying to understand her reactions. 00:30:31 But it wasn’t easy for me. 00:30:37 Hearing her criticisms, those harsh replies, I thought sometimes: 00:30:41 ‘I think I’ll just give up. 00:30:43 It makes no sense to go on like this.’ 00:30:48 I said to the brother who was studying with me about this, 00:30:52 “I want to stop.” 00:30:55 And he encouraged me. 00:30:57 He said: “No, no, no, don’t stop. 00:30:59 “Don’t quit. 00:31:01 “Continue, continue. 00:31:02 Probably your wife will follow you.” 00:31:06 These conversations always encouraged me, 00:31:09 and when we finished our study, 00:31:11 I would see things from a different perspective. 00:31:15 I always loved my wife, 00:31:17 and I wanted her to be by my side. 00:31:23 During this period, he often told me how much he loved me 00:31:28 —many times, yes, very often. 00:31:30 And sometimes he would ask me if I loved him too. 00:31:34 There were times when I would answer him, 00:31:36 and there were times when I just smiled and said nothing. 00:31:42 And I even thought, ‘Hey, this guy really cares about me.’ 00:31:48 I was impressed by his kindness. 00:31:50 I was very impressed. 00:31:53 Many times, I was musing: ‘Well, as a man, he could hit me. 00:31:56 He could be demanding, “You will sit down,”’ you know. 00:32:00 But no, he never did that. 00:32:03 He never raised his voice, never spoke a mean word 00:32:06 —never. 00:32:08 When she saw that I did not retaliate 00:32:11 —as in I would not reply harshly and I would not talk badly to her— 00:32:15 then eventually 00:32:17 she would calm down. 00:32:19 In his calm and mild way, he began inviting me to the meetings. 00:32:24 He kept on inviting me, and sometimes I was willing to accept. 00:32:28 Slowly, I started to attend the meetings. 00:32:31 I was happy. 00:32:33 I was very happy when she said she wanted to resume her study. 00:32:39 In August 2006, 00:32:42 I started studying the Bible again. 00:32:45 And in March 2007, I became an unbaptized publisher. 00:32:49 And in July 2007, I decided to get baptized. 00:32:56 I served in the Baptism Department, 00:33:00 and I had the privilege 00:33:06 to personally baptize my dear wife. 00:33:25 First Corinthians 13:4 says 00:33:28 that “love is patient and kind.” 00:33:31 Patience means, 00:33:33 first of all, being patient for months, 00:33:36 years, or maybe even decades. 00:33:40 Never give up. 00:33:42 Never consider someone as a lost cause. 00:33:51 Even though Alexandru and Dorina’s marriage 00:33:53 was far from ideal for a long time, 00:33:56 Alexandru didn’t lose his patience. 00:33:59 He was calm and loving. 00:34:02 That promoted peace, and eventually 00:34:04 it moved Dorina to embrace the truth. 00:34:07 If you have an unbelieving mate, 00:34:10 remember Alexandru’s example 00:34:12 and, as he said, “Never give up.” 00:34:17 Ecclesiastes 4:12 speaks of “a threefold cord” 00:34:22 that “cannot quickly be torn apart.” 00:34:25 That’s often applied to Christian marriage. 00:34:28 But what does that “threefold cord” mean, 00:34:32 and how does it make a marriage successful? 00:34:35 We’ll learn the answers in our next segment. 00:34:57 It was summertime, and a group 00:35:00 of brothers and sisters made arrangements 00:35:03 during vacation time to go to the beach. 00:35:05 And so during that time, 00:35:08 heading to the beach is where I met her. 00:35:11 I had met her sisters, but I had not met her. 00:35:15 My grandparents and my aunt 00:35:17 were a very important part 00:35:18 in raising me and my sisters. 00:35:21 They learned the truth first, in Ecuador. 00:35:24 We always lived close by. 00:35:26 I always went to visit them. 00:35:29 And they helped my parents in guiding me into the truth. 00:35:34 The first three or four years of our marriage, 00:35:38 we were about an hour and a half away from our family. 00:35:40 That was really hard on me because I’m close to my sisters. 00:35:44 So it was kind of hard being so far— To me that was really far. 00:35:48 I knew early on that one of the most important things 00:35:52 that I needed in a mate is someone who loves Jehovah. 00:35:55 And they always say— 00:35:57 I remember my parents (and at the meetings) always said, 00:35:59 “Find someone who loves Jehovah more than they love you.” 00:36:02 And it’s easy to say that, 00:36:05 but then you find someone 00:36:07 and you realize that she loves Jehovah more than she loves you. 00:36:10 She has demonstrated it through our entire marriage. 00:36:13 When it comes to Jehovah, he’s first. 00:36:15 I think that is the key to a successful marriage. 00:36:20 I think the biggest challenge we went through in our marriage 00:36:22 was our first year in the circuit work. 00:36:25 It was hard enough moving 3,000 miles away from everyone 00:36:28 and starting a new type of life. 00:36:30 Two months later, my grandfather dies; 00:36:32 six months right after that, my mother dies. 00:36:34 So after her mom died, my mom passed away. 00:36:38 It was one right after the other. 00:36:43 That was a difficult time for us 00:36:48 —all the pain and suffering 00:36:50 from losing our moms and loved ones. 00:36:54 Many times we felt that we could not continue. 00:36:59 It was overwhelming. 00:37:04 The period of time was eight months 00:37:07 and ten days between the death of Mimi’s mom and my mom. 00:37:20 The threefold cord is a routine in which Jehovah is included 00:37:24 in the marriage 00:37:25 —from reading the Bible together, 00:37:27 to going in the ministry together, 00:37:29 to doing everyday things together. 00:37:33 And as you do this, Jehovah is present in your marriage. 00:37:38 We always think that it’s our Bible reading. 00:37:40 Actually, we don’t think—we realize 00:37:42 that our Bible reading is very important for us. 00:37:45 We pick a book; we start reading it, and we know 00:37:47 that is what keeps us together. 00:37:52 We were both already pioneering before we got married. 00:37:54 And when we got married, 00:37:56 we just figured out a way to continue pioneering together 00:38:01 to make sure to start our spiritual careers together. 00:38:05 So we have to always depend on Jehovah, 00:38:08 which is the best Person to always depend on. 00:38:10 We spent a lot of time by ourselves, 00:38:13 driving from city to city and from state to state. 00:38:17 We had plenty of time to reflect, to talk, 00:38:20 and to draw close to each other 00:38:22 —to not only rely on Jehovah but also to be closer between us 00:38:27 and to spend more time 00:38:30 talking about the visits, 00:38:32 talking about the friends, and talking about how we feel. 00:38:36 I think that at the end it was the toughest assignment, 00:38:39 but it was the most rewarding 00:38:42 of all the assignments we had had 00:38:44 in all these years in the traveling work. 00:38:46 Because it’s the three of us and Jehovah’s an equal part of our marriage, 00:38:50 it doesn’t matter what we go through 00:38:52 —whether it’s Peter or I that’s having a little bit of a struggle— 00:38:56 because Jehovah is there. 00:38:57 He’s going to keep us united and strong. 00:39:00 And also, it’s not just in the things we do while we worship. 00:39:04 Yes, we worship together, 00:39:06 but it’s also all the other things that we do Jehovah’s way. 00:39:10 We’re best friends, and we enjoy spending time together 00:39:13 outside of service and the meetings. 00:39:16 We like doing fun things outside. We like the outdoors. 00:39:21 When we’re facing a difficult challenge, we will go to Jehovah in prayer together 00:39:25 and specifically pray, “Jehovah, help us with this challenge.” 00:39:29 Our assignments have helped us 00:39:32 to always be with each other because we have the same goals in mind. 00:39:35 We’re working together 00:39:36 for the same purpose. 00:39:38 So the same schedule —spiritual schedule— 00:39:42 has really helped us to go through these challenging periods in our life. 00:39:46 Knowing that Jehovah is our Creator, the Sovereign Being 00:39:51 —he’s the one who should tell us what to do. 00:39:54 And there is an arrangement, and when you follow his arrangement, 00:39:57 there’s happiness; there’s success. 00:40:01 We’re in an imperfect world, 00:40:03 but his arrangement works, and we have felt it. 00:40:15 When husbands and wives are united with Jehovah, 00:40:18 their marriage is as strong as that threefold cord. 00:40:23 The Bible uses another term to describe the unity of husband and wife: 00:40:27 “They . . . become one flesh.” 00:40:31 This was the topic of a Morning Worship program 00:40:33 presented by Brother Robert Ciranko. 00:40:37 Genesis 2:24 says of a man and a woman 00:40:40 who marry that they are 00:40:41 to “become one flesh.” 00:40:43 Now, that raises some questions: 00:40:46 Whose words are those? 00:40:48 What do they mean? 00:40:50 How can we show that we believe them? 00:40:52 And is there a good example in the Bible of a couple who did? 00:40:56 Let’s start with looking at the context. 00:40:59 If you’d open your Bibles, please, to Genesis chapter 2, 00:41:02 and we’ll start with verse 18—Genesis 2. 00:41:06 It reports: “Then Jehovah God said: 00:41:09 “‘It is not good for the man to continue to be alone. 00:41:12 I am going to make a helper for him, as a complement of him.’” 00:41:16 Continuing in verse 21: 00:41:19 “So Jehovah God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, 00:41:24 “he took one of his ribs and then closed up the flesh over its place. 00:41:28 “And Jehovah God built the rib that he had taken from the man into a woman, 00:41:32 “and he brought her to the man. 00:41:34 “Then the man said: 00:41:35 “‘This is at last bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. 00:41:40 “This one will be called Woman, because from man she was taken.’ 00:41:46 “That is why a man will leave his father and his mother 00:41:49 and he will stick to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” 00:41:53 So our first question is, Whose words are these? 00:41:57 Adam’s? 00:41:59 No. 00:42:00 The only words attributed to Adam are when he waxed poetic in verse 23. 00:42:05 And you can see that from the opening and closing quotation marks in that verse. 00:42:09 Well, then it must have been Moses’ words because, 00:42:11 after all, he wrote the Bible book of Genesis. 00:42:14 No. 00:42:15 He was not present at the time of the first marriage. 00:42:18 He did not start writing until some 2,500 years later, 00:42:23 and even then, he was writing what he was inspired to write. 00:42:27 Three Bible writers use this expression, “one flesh” 00:42:32 —Matthew, Mark, and Paul. 00:42:34 And it’s Matthew who gives us the clue as to whose words they are. 00:42:38 So let’s turn to Matthew chapter 19, 00:42:41 Matthew 19 00:42:45 beginning with verse 4. 00:42:49 And here Matthew writes and quotes Jesus; 00:42:54 it says: “In reply he [Jesus] said: 00:42:57 “‘Have you not read that the one who created them 00:43:01 “‘from the beginning made them male and female and said: 00:43:05 “‘“For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother 00:43:09 “‘and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh”? 00:43:13 “‘So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. 00:43:16 Therefore, what God has yoked together, let no man put apart.’” 00:43:21 So Matthew makes it clear that Jehovah said those words. 00:43:25 And shouldn’t that elevate in everyone’s mind 00:43:28 the sanctity of the marital union? 00:43:32 As Jesus said, ‘God created male and female’ —two complementary genders— 00:43:37 and he ‘yoked them together in marriage as one flesh.’ 00:43:40 Now, it’s interesting what The Bible Exposition Commentary 00:43:44 says about this: “God established marriage, 00:43:47 “and therefore only God can control its character . . . 00:43:50 “It is a union between one man and one woman. 00:43:54 “God did not create two men and one woman, 00:43:57 “two women and one man, two men, or two women. 00:44:02 “‘Group marriages,’ ‘gay marriages,’ 00:44:04 “and other variations are contrary to the will of God, 00:44:07 no matter what some psychologists and jurists may say.” 00:44:10 “No court of law can change what God has established.” 00:44:14 And those are comments we can agree with. 00:44:17 Now, our second question is, What do these words mean: “They will become one flesh”? 00:44:22 Well, of course, the one-flesh relationship certainly involves sexual union, 00:44:27 but it goes beyond that because it includes a husband and wife 00:44:32 who have achieved mental, emotional, and spiritual harmony. 00:44:37 They are to have a oneness in their purpose and desires. 00:44:42 As Bible translator William Barclay renders it at Matthew 19:5: 00:44:46 “The husband will be joined inseparably to his wife.” 00:44:50 So in marriage, a man and a woman 00:44:52 are to become each other’s closest partner in life. 00:44:57 Being “one flesh” means that they must always 00:45:00 be thinking more of each other than of themselves, 00:45:03 that they must consider each other in everything they do. 00:45:06 So when single people marry, they need to shift 00:45:09 their thinking from mine to ours, 00:45:12 from me to we. 00:45:14 And so they must stop being single at heart 00:45:18 and come to be married at heart, not just on paper. 00:45:21 Now, our third question is, 00:45:23 How can we show that we believe these words? 00:45:25 Well, sad to say, many people these days 00:45:28 take a very casual attitude toward marriage, 00:45:30 and when the relationship becomes strained, 00:45:32 they just give up and walk out on their mate. 00:45:35 But that is not the Christian way. 00:45:38 Marriage is to be a lifelong relationship. 00:45:41 Just a few verses later on at Matthew 19:9, 00:45:44 Jesus taught that the only Scriptural ground for dissolving marriage 00:45:48 is when an innocent mate 00:45:50 chooses not to forgive an adulterous partner. 00:45:53 And that is because sexual relations outside the marriage bond 00:45:57 are a gross perversion of the one-flesh union. 00:46:02 Now, let’s read Paul’s words about this 00:46:04 at 1 Corinthians chapter 6 00:46:07 —1 Corinthians 6:16; 00:46:13 he said: “Do you not know that anyone who is joined to a prostitute 00:46:17 “is one body with her? 00:46:19 For ‘the two,’ says he, ‘will be one flesh.’” 00:46:23 So the adulterer pulls away from his marriage mate 00:46:27 and makes himself one flesh with a third person. 00:46:31 That, then, is the only Scriptural basis for divorce. 00:46:34 But divorce is a very painful experience. 00:46:37 As one sociologist put it, “Divorce is drastic surgery.” 00:46:41 To sever the one-flesh bond between husband and wife 00:46:46 would be like sawing oneself asunder. 00:46:49 What, though, if no adultery has been committed? 00:46:52 What if, for some reason, two people who are married to each other 00:46:55 just don’t like each other any longer? 00:46:57 Divorce is not an option. 00:46:59 Instead, they need to remind themselves of what attracted them to each other 00:47:03 and work at rekindling those feelings, 00:47:06 while at the same time looking to Jehovah for help 00:47:09 in not only strengthening their marriage 00:47:11 but also their spirituality. 00:47:14 Our fourth question is, 00:47:16 What Scriptural example is there of a married couple 00:47:19 who believed this one-flesh idea? 00:47:23 Turn to Romans 16:3, please, 00:47:27 Romans 16:3; here Paul writes: 00:47:31 “Give my greetings to Prisca [or Priscilla] and Aquila, 00:47:36 my fellow workers in Christ Jesus.” 00:47:39 So, yes, Aquila and Priscilla —what a model of a close and united couple 00:47:44 living up to what Jehovah meant when he said that a husband or wife 00:47:47 should become one flesh! 00:47:49 And Paul, who worked closely with them, 00:47:51 could not think of that dear brother 00:47:53 without recalling the faithful cooperation of his wife. 00:47:57 So it’s a fine example for Christian couples today. 00:48:00 And in every one of the six references to this couple 00:48:03 in the Christian Greek Scriptures, we find them working together, 00:48:07 cooperating without competition or strife. 00:48:10 And never is one mentioned without the other. 00:48:13 They constantly worked together in their home, 00:48:16 in their secular work, in the ministry. 00:48:19 And surely it was the time spent together in Christian activities 00:48:22 that kept their marriage on a high spiritual plane, 00:48:26 working side by side to further the Kingdom work. 00:48:29 Now, you and your marriage mate may be apart 00:48:32 for much of the day due to different work and responsibilities. 00:48:35 But can you find time each day to eat meals together, 00:48:40 to do household chores together, to take walks together, 00:48:44 to be together to get caught up 00:48:46 on what has gone on in your lives during the day? 00:48:49 Aquila and Priscilla proved that being united 00:48:52 in activities related to true worship 00:48:54 can keep a couple’s thinking and goals aligned, 00:48:57 and that does strengthen a marriage. 00:49:00 For example, studying together, 00:49:03 participating in congregation meetings together, 00:49:06 sharing in the ministry together, praying together, 00:49:09 in doing all of that, 00:49:11 a person’s interests, priorities, and habits 00:49:15 will harmonize with those of one’s spouse until, 00:49:20 like Aquila and Priscilla, 00:49:22 we increasingly think, feel, 00:49:25 and act as one flesh. 00:49:28 So now we know who said the words. 00:49:30 It was Jehovah. 00:49:31 We understand what they mean —achieving harmony 00:49:34 in one’s relationship with one’s mate. 00:49:37 And we can certainly prove that we believe these words 00:49:40 by staying close to our mate and maintaining our marriage bond. 00:49:45 And then we have that excellent example of Aquila and Priscilla to abide by. 00:49:51 “One flesh,” “a threefold cord” 00:49:55 —when a husband and wife apply Bible principles, 00:49:58 their marriage endures and is successful. 00:50:01 And we’ll see that in our new music video. 00:50:28 You’re the one, The only one for me. 00:50:37 You’re my love, My one and only. 00:50:48 Your qualities, your faith— They bring me such delight. 00:50:59 And with God’s help, I know our future’s bright. 00:51:11 It fills my heart with love To know you stand by me. 00:51:21 I feel your deep respect; I know you’re proud of me. 00:51:31 Together we can be strong; Together’s where we belong. 00:51:41 Jehovah helps us stay more in love each day— My only one. 00:52:36 You’re the one for me; You listen to my thoughts. 00:52:46 And as a team, We work hard for our God. 00:52:57 Yes, in my heart I feel You cherish me, my love. 00:53:07 You’ll always be the one— The one I’m so proud of. 00:53:19 Together we can be strong; Together’s where we belong. 00:53:28 Jehovah helps us stay more in love each day— My only one. 00:53:38 Together we can be strong; Together’s where we belong. 00:53:49 Jehovah helps us stay more in love each day— My only one, 00:54:01 My only one, My love. 00:54:13 The theme of this month’s program was 00:54:16 “Show Love and Respect in Your Marriage.” 00:54:19 Sarah’s example shows wives 00:54:22 how to give their husbands suggestions 00:54:24 and husbands how to show 00:54:26 appreciation for their wives. 00:54:29 We learned the importance of prayer when we face changing circumstances. 00:54:35 And Alexandru’s love and patience 00:54:36 helped his wife serve Jehovah. 00:54:39 By integrating Jehovah into their marriage, 00:54:42 couples can overcome challenges and serve Jehovah together. 00:54:47 Now let’s enjoy our video postcard. 00:54:49 This month we visit our brothers and sisters in Guyana. 00:54:54 This country of more than 750,000 people 00:54:58 is in the northeastern corner of South America. 00:55:01 This is a land of lush rain forests, 00:55:05 sugarcane plantations, and open grasslands. 00:55:09 Temperatures and humidity are high, and the rainfall is heavy. 00:55:14 In fact, Guyana means “land of water.” 00:55:18 These brothers are with the congregation in Charity, 00:55:21 a part of Guyana known for extensive preaching done along the river. 00:55:25 More than half of Guyana’s population is rural, 00:55:28 and most people live in villages in the coastal region. 00:55:32 This is Baramita, a Carib-language-speaking community 00:55:35 known for gold mining. 00:55:37 The congregation’s 119 publishers 00:55:40 conduct an average of 228 Bible studies every month. 00:55:46 Baramita is also home to a remote translation office. 00:55:51 Many people live scattered throughout the surrounding dense jungle. 00:55:54 And reaching them requires hours and hours of walking. 00:55:59 Because the rainy season is over half of the year, 00:56:02 travel can be very difficult. 00:56:04 But our brothers and sisters —they’re not deterred by the terrain. 00:56:08 Now, these are typical dwellings of the Carib community in Baramita. 00:56:12 And, our brothers —they preach to everyone they encounter, 00:56:16 from cassava farmers to gold miners. 00:56:20 Our brothers and sisters in the Baramita Congregation 00:56:23 send you their warm love and greetings. 00:56:27 From the World Headquarters of Jehovah’s Witnesses, 00:56:29 this is JW Broadcasting.
