00:00:01 Do you gossip?
00:00:02 No.
00:00:03 Well, whenever we share any news about others,
00:00:06 that is a form of gossip.
00:00:09 Because we are interested in others, we might say,
00:00:12 “I am really concerned about Brother Smith’s health,”
00:00:15 or “Did you hear about Sister Brown’s experience in the ministry?”
00:00:20 Is this type of gossip harmful?
00:00:22 Generally not.
00:00:24 Still, we need to be careful.
00:00:26 At 1 Timothy 5:13,
00:00:28 Paul spoke out against certain sisters
00:00:31 who were “gossipers and meddlers in other people’s affairs.”
00:00:36 We do not need to know and share everything we know
00:00:39 about what’s happening in other people’s lives.
00:00:43 What if, for example, Brother Smith did not want others
00:00:47 to know details about his health problem?
00:00:50 We need to respect the privacy of others.
00:00:53 Or what if talking about Sister Brown’s experience turns into,
00:00:57 “Oh, you know, she always brags about her success in the ministry.”
00:01:02 When our talk about others turns negative,
00:01:05 it can develop into slander.
00:01:08 Slander is making deliberate, false statements
00:01:11 that damage another’s reputation.
00:01:15 Let’s now consider how harmful gossip wrecks peace.
00:01:20 If you have spread harmful gossip about someone and he hears about it,
00:01:25 when you see him the next time,
00:01:28 what will be the look on his face?
00:01:31 Please read with me Proverbs 25:23:
00:01:37 “The north wind brings a downpour,
00:01:41 and a gossiping tongue brings an angry face.”
00:01:46 The north wind in Palestine
00:01:49 brought dark clouds and rain.
00:01:52 Likewise, when the one you gossiped about
00:01:55 catches wind of this and he sees you,
00:01:59 he will have a gloomy, angry face.
00:02:02 There will be a storm and a chilled relationship.
00:02:07 Now, when that happens,
00:02:09 you may feel very badly and apologize,
00:02:13 but you may have damaged his reputation
00:02:16 in a way that may be difficult to undo.
00:02:19 Listen to this old Jewish story:
00:02:23 ‘A man went about town slandering the town’s wise man.
00:02:29 ‘Later, the malicious gossiper realized his wrong
00:02:32 ‘and went to the wise man and asked for his forgiveness.
00:02:35 ‘He offered to do whatever was needed to make amends.
00:02:39 ‘The wise man made one request.
00:02:42 ‘He told the gossiper to take a feather pillow,
00:02:46 ‘cut it open, and scatter the feathers to the wind.
00:02:51 ‘Well, the gossiper was puzzled by this request,
00:02:54 ‘but he did as instructed.
00:02:56 ‘Then he returned to the wise man.
00:02:58 ‘“Am I now forgiven?” he asked.
00:03:01 ‘“First, go and gather all the feathers,” the wise man responded.
00:03:06 ‘“But, how can I?
00:03:08 ‘The wind has already scattered them.”
00:03:11 ‘The wise man replied,
00:03:13 ‘“It is as difficult to repair the damage done by your words
00:03:17 as it is to recover the feathers.”’
00:03:21 Yes, once spoken, hurtful words cannot be retrieved.
00:03:26 Let’s not scatter feathers in the wind.
00:03:30 If we spread rumors,
00:03:33 it can seriously disturb the peace of many in the congregation.
00:03:37 We find an example of this
00:03:39 at Acts 21:20, 21.
00:03:44 The older men of the Jerusalem congregation explained to Paul
00:03:48 that some Jews had spread a rumor among Jewish Christians
00:03:53 that he had been teaching an apostasy,
00:03:56 speaking against the Law of Moses.
00:03:59 Of course, this was a twisting of the facts.
00:04:02 Paul never spoke disrespectfully of the Law.
00:04:06 He even went to synagogues
00:04:08 where he reasoned on the basis of the Hebrew Scriptures.
00:04:11 Such stories could have led some newly converted Jewish Christians
00:04:16 to think that Paul did not respect God’s arrangements,
00:04:20 and this could have seriously disrupted the peace of the congregation.
00:04:25 In the following dramatization,
00:04:27 notice the effect that harmful gossip can have
00:04:32 on the peace in a congregation.
00:04:35 Can you believe that?
00:04:37 Especially as a pioneer,
00:04:39 what kind of example is she setting?
00:04:41 Has Emily stopped following her?
00:04:44 No, not yet, but she probably will.
00:04:46 Alistair, what do you think?
00:04:49 About what?
00:04:50 Haley’s posts on QuicPost.
00:04:53 Is there a problem?
00:04:56 Emily has told me
00:04:58 they’re all just, “Look at me
00:05:00 —my clothes, my hair, my makeup.”
00:05:03 And even Celia agrees with her.
00:05:07 Well, it’s very easy to take things out of context on social media.
00:05:13 I know that I’ve done that and realized later
00:05:18 that I was wrong.
00:05:20 Yeah, that’s a good point.
00:05:24 Listen, I don’t want to pull you away,
00:05:27 but if you have a minute, would you mind giving me a hand with these boxes?
00:05:30 Sure.
00:05:41 Thanks for your help.
00:05:42 No problem.
00:05:44 Jake, back in the hall, I know you were just expressing concern,
00:05:49 but here’s something to consider.
00:05:52 This principle is one of my favorites.
00:05:56 It’s found at Proverbs
00:05:58 chapter 18 and verse 17.
00:06:04 “The first to state his case seems right,
00:06:07 until the other party comes and cross-examines him.”
00:06:15 I’m not sure I understand.
00:06:18 It just means that sometimes
00:06:21 we only hear one side of a story.
00:06:24 And until we personally hear both,
00:06:28 it’s best not to draw any conclusions.
00:06:31 And even then, if it’s something negative,
00:06:35 we wouldn’t want to spread it
00:06:37 any more than we’d want something spread about ourselves.
00:06:44 I guess I hadn’t considered that.
00:06:46 Thanks.
00:06:49 I’m going to apologize to Harry and Marie
00:06:54 and have Emily talk directly to Haley.
00:06:59 Good idea.
00:07:06 Did you notice what Jake said
00:07:09 after the elder graciously helped him reason
00:07:12 on Proverbs 18:17?
00:07:14 He said, “I had not considered that.”
00:07:18 Yes, Jake just did not stop and think
00:07:22 before he said those negative things about Haley.
00:07:26 So how can we “put away” harmful gossip
00:07:30 before it begins?
00:07:32 Let’s read Proverbs 15:28:
00:07:38 “The heart of the righteous one meditates before answering,
00:07:43 “but the mouth of the wicked
00:07:45 blurts out bad things.”
00:07:49 So before we say bad things about others,
00:07:52 we need to meditate.
00:07:54 No, this does not mean a long-drawn-out process.
00:07:58 It just requires a little thought.
00:08:01 What thoughts could have stopped Jake
00:08:05 from repeating his wife’s negative view of Haley’s post?
00:08:10 He could have asked himself:
00:08:12 ‘Is what I am about to say true?
00:08:15 ‘Is it kind, loving?
00:08:18 ‘How will Harry and Marie view Haley
00:08:22 if they hear those negative things about her?’
00:08:26 Another principle that will help us to put away harmful gossip
00:08:30 is the so-called Golden Rule,
00:08:33 as recorded at Luke 6:31.
00:08:36 Jesus said: “Just as you want men to do to you,
00:08:40 do the same way to them.”
00:08:43 This means showing empathy,
00:08:46 putting ourselves in the place of the other person,
00:08:48 and asking ourselves, ‘How would I feel
00:08:52 if someone said this about me?’
00:08:56 One situation that may tempt us to engage in harmful gossip
00:09:01 is when we believe we have been wronged by someone.
00:09:05 Instead of applying the counsel
00:09:07 at Matthew 5:23, 24
00:09:10 and 18:15
00:09:12 to talk to the person privately,
00:09:15 we could start talking about it to others who are not involved.
00:09:19 Imagine if after finally talking with the person
00:09:23 you find out he actually did not wrong you at all.
00:09:27 You will have made the situation much worse.
00:09:31 But whether we are right or wrong,
00:09:33 engaging in hurtful speech
00:09:36 will never improve a situation.
00:09:41 Gossip requires a speaker and a listener.
00:09:46 Is it wrong to listen to harmful gossip?
00:09:49 Yes!
00:09:51 Note what Proverbs 17:4 says:
00:09:55 “A wicked man pays attention to hurtful speech,
00:10:00 and a deceptive man listens to a malicious tongue.”
00:10:05 Think about that.
00:10:07 In God’s eyes if we listen to hurtful,
00:10:10 malicious speech, we too bear a heavy responsibility.
00:10:15 By listening to the gossiper,
00:10:17 we are encouraging him to go on.
00:10:21 So, what should you do?
00:10:23 Without taking on an air of self-righteousness,
00:10:26 you could simply say, “Let’s change the subject,”
00:10:31 or “I don’t really feel comfortable talking about this;
00:10:35 after all, she is not here to defend herself.”
00:10:40 And if we find that a brother or sister
00:10:43 likes to gossip,
00:10:46 we may find it easier to avoid harmful gossip
00:10:49 by stopping close association with that person.
00:10:54 Proverbs 20:19 frankly counsels:
00:10:58 “Do not associate with one who loves to gossip.”
00:11:04 So, dear friends, let’s put away harmful gossip.
00:11:08 Doing so, we will maintain
00:11:11 our precious peace and unity.
00:11:14 Brother Kenneth Cook,
00:11:16 a member of the Governing Body,
00:11:18 will now present the final talk of this symposium,
00:11:22 “‘Put Away’ Peace Wreckers —Uncontrolled Anger.”
